Loyalty Counts for Nothing; Just Ask NFL Fans

I t’s Wednesday morning. Do you know where your favorite NFL team is? * Disgust over the state of Paul Tagliabue’s rapid transit district continues to pour in from all over the country. Excerpts from an out-of-town newspaper column on the situation: “(T)he Baltimore Browns are all wrong. It stinks. It’s shameful to take the Browns out of Cleveland . . . It’s cruel for Baltimore to do to Cleveland what Bob Irsay did to Colts fans . . . The Browns belong to Cleveland.” The headline over the column read: “Baltimore’s Actions Leave A Brown Slime.”

* The column appeared in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

* According to the same newspaper two months ago, the Rams’ 4-0 start was largely, if not entirely, attributable to the move to St. Louis. Since then, the Rams are 2-5; have been routed by division rivals San Francisco and Atlanta; next face the 49ers in San Francisco, probably with Steve Young back in the starting lineup. Explanation, Archers?

* How about: The Los Angeles Rams moved to St. Louis, all right, they just arrived a month late.

* Last season, after the Rams announced their intention to leave Orange County, they finished 4-12. Last Sunday, after the Browns and the Oilers announced their plans to leave Cleveland and Houston, Eric Zeier passed for 14 yards before getting benched in the Browns’ 31-20 loss at home to the Packers, and the Oilers fumbled away a 20-13 loss to the Chiefs in the final 15 seconds. A lame duck is a lame duck is a lame duck.

* Tuesday, Browns owner Art Modell testified in court that his team would suffer irreparable harm if it was forced to stay in Cleveland. Speak for yourself, Art. And most likely, he was.

* The Cowboys crush the Raiders in Oakland, render them defenseless and Hostetler-less, remove all interest by the middle of the third quarter, so now the next Super Bowl Preview is Thursday’s Dallas-Kansas City titanic. And if you buy that, you obviously haven’t been paying attention to the 49ers, who have thrashed the Cowboys and the Dolphins the last two Sundays . . . with Elvis Grbac at quarterback.

* The next time San Francisco and Dallas meet, around mid-January, it figures to be Young-to-Rice, Young-to-Rice, Young-to-Rice and the 49ers-to-Roman Numeral XXX.

* John Robinson, who couldn’t win the big one with the Rams, is 0-5-1 against Notre Dame and UCLA during his second stint with the Trojans. Terry Donahue can win the big one but has all sorts of problems with the little ones. Maybe USC and UCLA should work a trade.

* Let’s see: UCLA beats USC at the Coliseum and, suddenly, Donahue can coach again. UCLA loses to Santa Clara in the Maui Classic and, suddenly, Jim Harrick can’t coach again. It’s some life these Bruin fans lead.

* I don’t foresee Santa Clara being invited to the Wooden Classic, at least not for the remainder of this century.

* Randy Velarde to the Angels to start at second base? You were expecting, who, Roberto Alomar? Chuck Knoblauch? Anybody but Damion Easley? OK, you put it like that, there are worse ways to spend $800,000.

* J.T. Snow and Mark Langston win Gold Glove awards. Evidently, ballots had to be in before the seventh inning of the one-game playoff in Seattle.

* Devon White also won a Gold Glove, his seventh, and he marks the occasion by signing a multi-year contract with the Florida Marlins. Notice he waited until Doug Rader was gone.

* Cal State Fullerton football lives! Last Sunday, ex-Titan defensive back Mark Collins scoops up a fumble and returns it for the winning touchdown in Kansas City’s last-second victory over Houston and ex-Titan tailback Mike Pringle gains 137 yards to help the Baltimore Stallions wrest the Grey Cup away from Calgary.

* Pringle was voted Canadian Football League most outstanding player this season. Damon Allen has long been one of the CFL’s top quarterbacks. Mention the name “Cal State Fullerton” north of the border and you’ll get a sad shake of the head, and “What were they thinking, shutting down a football factory like that?”

* Orange County’s new arena football franchise knows its audience, at least. The Anaheim Piranhas have sent season-ticket inquiry cards with two boxes to check. Check the top box if you are interested in season tickets. Printed next to the lower box, the “no” box, is this: “No thanks! I’m a big fan of Georgia! Al Davis was right! Orange County can’t support and doesn’t deserve exciting football action.”

* Is it possible to guilt a community into selling out seven arena football games every spring?

* And piranhas is the correct grammar, upon further review of the encyclopedia. Piranhas , piranha --either can be used as the proper plural in conversation in polite society. Assuming you’d want to, of course.

* The Piranha/Piranhas and the expansion Minneapolis Fighting Pike will play in the same division in 1996. The Black and Bluegill Division.

* One more piranha fun fact: Because they can be a terror to neighboring marine life--and the occasional clumsy human hand--piranhas are banned in California. But then again, so are the Rams.