Dallas Countdown to ’96 Starts With Switzer, Ends With Jones

If the Cowboys have their last roundup a little early in the NFL playoffs, it looks as if the top two New Year’s resolutions in Dallas will be these: 1. No more bashing of Cowboy Coach Barry Switzer; 2. More bashing.

Frank Luksa of the Dallas Morning News said it’s sort of pointless to knock Switzer, mainly because team owner Jerry Jones wouldn’t want a strong, authoritative figure (see Jimmy Johnson) on the sideline anyway.

“A Switzer type is forever fated to coach the Cowboys under Jones, and railing about Barry is wasting breath better devoted to blowing dandelion seeds to the wind,” Luksa said.

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Trivia time: What was the first game worked by former UCLA football Coach Dick Vermeil when he went to CBS as a commentator?

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Big, brawny, bold: The week’s alliteration award goes to the Miami Herald’s Gary Long, who referred to the Nebraska Cornhuskers as “that endless procession of beef-fed blockers [who] will bludgeon you and bruise you until you buckle.”

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Grimm tale for USC: By the way, Long picks Northwestern to defeat USC, 20-17, in the Rose Bowl. Long’s reasoning? “Fairy tales don’t have sad endings, do they?”

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Audition: UCLA defensive coordinator Bob Field’s interview to replace Terry Donahue as head coach might have lost that warm glow after the Bruins gave up 51 points, their most in 25 years, in the Aloha Bowl loss to Kansas.

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Learning curve: Kevin Garnett, the 19-year-old basketball player the Minnesota Timberwolves drafted out of high school, apparently still has a lot to learn.

When he took off his warmup jacket and tried to get into a game recently, the referees wouldn’t let him. Garnett had forgotten to put his jersey on.

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Nomomania II: First, it was rookie of the year. Now, it’s 24-karat gold commemorative medals for Hideo Nomo.

The Dodger pitcher has authorized medals struck with his likeness ranging in price from $6.95 for bronze to $9,500 for the 24-karat number.

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Bow wow! A note on the Miami Herald’s outdoors page said if your favorite hunting dog gets on the wrong side of a skunk, just rub down your dog with tomato juice. Presumably, then you pour him over ice and add a celery stick.

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Trivia answer: Green Bay at Houston, Sept. 4, 1983.

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Quotebook: Mario Elie of the Houston Rockets on the team’s new uniforms: “We’ve got the ugliest ones in the league. My buddies say we look like the Harlem Globetrotters.”