Boosters Can Be Led Astray

Time once again to play Good Booster, Bad Booster, the show where you, the audience, make the call.

Now the rules.

We have assembled a group of adults, who in its unique way, define booster-ism on the high school level. Each will be judged by attitude, perspective, game-day demeanor and, of course, the ever-popular swim suit competition.

Our celebrity judges today are Tonya Harding, Bob Knight and Sean Penn--so, to you photographers out there, keep your distance.

And, remember, it’s you, viewing at home, who make the call.

Our first contestants hail from Garden Grove. This couple’s hobbies include gardening, swing dancing and housing homeless high school football players. They have rescued two thus far, giving them food, shelter and support. All they ask in return is a little homework, a few chores and, of course, a long and happy life. They don’t have a son on the team and neither knows how to make gruel.

Using the Father Flanagan curve:

Good Booster?

Bad Booster?

Next, comes a man from South County, where he is a big fan of poison pens. We wouldn’t say he was fond of transfers, but he takes the bus to work just to collect those slips. In his spare time, he has been known to write a local newspaper to bag on a coach from another high school and ridicule that coach’s son.

So, on a scale of 1 to 10:

Good Booster?

Bad Booster?

From way out in North County comes a man who was so eager to help he enlisted before his son reached high school. He became the boys’ basketball booster president while his son was in eighth grade and plans to stay active while the kid is in high school. He never makes a peep, though his actions speak louder than words.

And the grade on the Good Samaritan test is:

Good Booster?

Bad Booster?

Now comes a newcomer from central Orange County, where all garage doors are the same color. He has gotten a late start in the competition but has built up a lot of steam lately. During one girls’ basketball game, some witnesses say, he addressed an opposing coach in language so colorful you’d think Ted Turner had doctored it.

On the Tommy Lasorda naughty-word chart:

Good Booster?

Bad Booster?

Yet another husband-wife duo, a hard-working couple from a Santa Ana school who just don’t know when to quit. Their tireless efforts helped make a Washington, D.C., trip possible. They ran concession stands in the winter and a fireworks stand in the summer. Funding for their son’s basketball team skyrockets. Next year, they plan to work even harder--even though their son will have graduated.

Checking the Ma and Pa yardstick:

Good Booster?

Bad Booster?

And our last contestant, from the high-rent district, is a heavyweight father, who doubled as a color commentator for his son’s football games. Make that off-color commentator. His tirades during games in the press box--directed at players as well as coaches--gave him a special place in the hearts of those who sat within earshot. That would be about anyone in the stands.

According to the Redd Foxx charm barometer:

Good Booster?

Bad Booster?

Well, that’s all the time we have today.

Remember folks, as boosters, it’s always better to be seen than heard.