Oscar Voices

Whoopi Goldberg

During her opening monologue

“You don’t ask a black woman to buy an expensive dress and then cover it with ribbons. . . . I got a red ribbon for AIDS awareness. Done. I got a purple ribbon for breast cancer. Done. I got a yellow ribbon for the troops in Bosnia. Done. I got a green ribbon to free the Chinese dissidents. Done. I got a milky white ribbon for mad cow disease. Done. I got a rainbow ribbon for gay rights disease. Done, done, done again. I got a fake fur ribbon for animal rights. Done. A wet white ribbon to end Whitewater. Done. A seersucker ribbon to let Martin Landau finish his speech from last year. Done. A plaid ribbon that Mel Gibson wore in ‘Braveheart’ instead of pants. Done. And a blue ribbon that somebody swiped off Babe. Enough with the ribbons, it’s done.”

Goldberg

Also during her monologue

“Women’s roles were interesting this year. Elisabeth Shue played a hooker, Mira Sorvino played a hooker, Sharon Stone played a hooker. How many times did Charlie Sheen get to vote?”

Woody

“Toy Story” character, voiced by Tom Hanks, after partner Buzz (Tim Allen) wanted to disarm Oscar statue

“Buzz! If you take his sword, he’ll be naked.”

Robin Williams

Before presenting special award to Looney Tunes director Chuck Jones

“Now if Chuck could only animate Bob Dole we’d have a campaign.”

Chuck Jones

Accepting his award

“Well, what can I say in the face of such humiliating evidence?”

Mira Sorvino

Tearfully dedicating her supporting actress Oscar to her actor-father, who broke down crying in the audience

“When you give me this award, you honor my father, Paul Sorvino, who taught me everything I know about acting.”

Charles Gibson

Accepting visual effects award for “Babe”

“I’d like to thank the academy for recognizing that ‘Babe’ is a visual effects picture, since animals don’t really talk.”

Nathan Lane

On Disney’s marketing skills

“Who else could have brought you ‘Little Mermaid’ fish sticks, ‘The Lion King’ push-up bra--which I’m wearing right now--and the ‘Pocahontas’ home pregnancy test.”

Nathan Lane

Apparently in reference to Jesse Jackson’s protest about the paucity of African Americans nominated

“I just saw Ross Perot outside screaming. He wanted to know why more nutty billionaires weren’t nominated.”

Kirk Douglas

Speaking slowly because of a recent stroke as he accepted Irving Thalberg Award

“I see my four sons. They are proud of their old man. And I am proud too. Proud to be a part of Hollywood for 50 years. But this is for my wife, Anne. I love you.”

Sharon Stone

After misplacing envelope containing name of best dramatic score winner

“I don’t have the envelope. So I’d like us all to have a psychic moment. Let’s concentrate.”

Miss Piggy

Barging in on Whoopi Goldberg’s “interview” of Babe the pig

“There’s a lot of competition now. It’s tough for a mature pig to get work in Hollywood these days.”

Goldberg

Quipping on Miss Piggy’s remark

“Don’t I know it.”

Miss Piggy

Responding to applause

“You like moi. You really like moi.”

Christopher Reeve

Following clips of films that dealt with social issues

“Hollywood needs to do more. Let’s continue to take risks. Let’s tackle the issues in many ways. In many ways our film community can do it better than anyone else. There’s no challenge, artistic or otherwise, that we can’t meet.”

Emma Thompson

On winning adapted screenplay award for her script based on the novel “Sense and Sensibility”

“Before I came I went to visit Jane Austen’s grave in Westminster Cathedral to pay my respects and tell her about the grosses. . . . I do hope she knows how big she is in Uruguay.”

Mel Gibson

Winner for best director

“Now that I’m a bona fide with a golden boy, well, like most directors, what I really want to do is act.”

Susan Sarandon

Best actress, thanking her “Dead Man Walking” director, writer and significant other Tim Robbins

“This is yours as much as mine. Thank God we live together.”

Nicolas Cage

Toting best actor Oscar for role in low-budget “Leaving Las Vegas”

“Oh boy--$3.5-million budget, some 16mm stock footage thrown in, and I’m holding one of these!”

--Compiled by Steve Hochman