Don’t leave the litter box without it:Melissa...

Don’t leave the litter box without it:

Melissa Ramirez of West Covina opened a letter from First USA Bank to Fred Ramirez and was surprised to see that Fred had qualified for a MasterCard “designed especially for people who love cats.”

First USA apparently got the name from a pet databank. Actually, Fred:

* Was a cat.

* Recently died.

* And was, after all, just a 17-year-old.

AUTHOR IN THE COURT! AUTHOR IN THE COURT! Hamilton High School, as spry as ever, will hold a 65th birthday homecoming May 18 on the West Los Angeles campus. (Information: (310) 474-2368.) Emcee will be Joel Siegel (Class of 1960), the movie reviewer for ABC’s “Good Morning America.” But the big question is whether there’ll be an appearance by a classmate of Siegel’s: attorney Robert Shapiro.

Now known mainly as a famous author (“The Search for Justice”), Shapiro displayed other talents in school. A 1994 People magazine profile recalled that he was “the best dancer at Hamilton High.”

And, please, no jokes about him dancing around the truth.

LIST OF THE DAY: Hamilton, at 65, is practically a youth among the high schools in the L.A. Unified School District. Here are the oldest:

* Los Angeles, 1873

* Polytechnic, 1900

* Gardena, 1907

* San Pedro, 1909

* Hollywood, 1910

* Manual Arts, 1910

* Banning, 1911

* Van Nuys, 1915

* Canoga Park, 1915

* Franklin, 1916

* Narbonne, 1916

Note: Some schools, such as Los Angeles and Poly (Sun Valley), have changed locations since their founding. Some have changed their names. Canoga Park, for instance, formerly was Owensmouth, which, you have to admit, is a bit of a mouthful.

GOOD OR BAD? Scottish screenwriter Colin Hutton, driving from Tombstone, Ariz., to L.A., noticed a Palm Springs gas station with a banner that said:

“Under New Attitude.”

JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE CITY WAS FINANCIALLY SOLVENT: Chris Chapman of the Siamese Princess restaurant on West 3rdStreet received a notice that he had overpaid his city taxes by darn near $100 million (see excerpt).

He’s got to get a new bookkeeper, among other things.

Luckily, the letter from the ever-cooperative city clerk’s office says at one point: “If a refund is desired . . . .”

Chapman wrote in the margin of his copy: “Yes, please!!!”

GOOD HELP IS HARD TO ESCAPE: A van carrying several street vendors overturned north of L.A., whereupon a second vehicle picked up everyone and roared off, according to witnesses.

The Fillmore Herald’s headline above the photo read: “Van filled with street peddlers overturns near Fillmore; everyone escapes before help arrives.”

miscelLAny

If you’ve felt as though something was missing from your life of late, we think we know the source of the problem: The Dancing Itos no longer appear on the “Tonight Show” with Jay Leno. But there is a replacement (no, not the Dancing Shapiros). Appearing the other night were the Dancing Rodmans--five gentlemen with glow-in-the-dark hair and wearing Bulls uniforms in honor of the head-butting basketball player.