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CAPSULES AND RANKING

Team: 1. Buffalo (2-0)

Opponent: at Pittsburgh

Comment: Poll kings undefeated and first snowflake has yet to fall.

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Team: 2. Green Bay (2-0)

Opponent: San Diego

Comment: Can Pack fight off Chargers, Monday night TV letdown? Yes.

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Team: 3. San Francisco (2-0)

Opponent: Idle

Comment: 49ers get a bye; didn’t they have one against the Rams?

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Team: 4. Denver (2-0)

Opponent: Tampa Bay

Comment: Two weeks from showdown against Chiefs; a practice game.

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Team: 5. Kansas City (2-0)

Opponent: at Seattle

Comment: Most insufferable fans now doing tomahawk chop and Macarena.

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Team: 6. Dallas (1-1)

Opponent: Indianapolis

Comment: How ‘bout those Cowboys--really pounded those Giants.

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Team: 7. Detroit (1-1)

Opponent: at Philadelphia

Comment: Fantasy pick of Scott Mitchell has nothing to do with this rank.

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Team: 8. Miami (2-0)

Opponent: N.Y. Jets

Comment: How much would you give for Dolphin-Cowboy Super Bowl?

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Team: 9. Indianapolis (2-0)

Opponent: at Dallas

Comment: Pregame speech--”Win, or we’re moving to Cleveland.”

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Team: 10. Minnesota (2-0)

Opponent: at Chicago

Comment: Dennis Green apparently didn’t spend all his time viewing tape.

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Team: 11. Houston (1-1)

Opponent: Baltimore

Comment: Eddie George might get Oilers to playoffs before trek to Nashville.

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Team: 12. San Diego (2-0)

Opponent: at Green Bay

Comment: Chargers tough like NFC team, yeah, tough like the Buccaneers.

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Team: 13. Philadelphia (1-1)

Opponent: Detroit

Comment: Thanks for showing up against the Packers.

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Team: 14. Washington (1-1)

Opponent: at N.Y. Giants

Comment: 10-3 win! Listening to politician’s speech is more exciting.

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Team: 15. Chicago (1-1)

Opponent: Minnesota

Comment: Bears beat Cowboys, lose to Redskins: Good thing Ditka’s gone.

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Team: 16. Carolina (2-0)

Opponent: Idle

Comment: Week off to make all those Super Bowl preparations.

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Team: 17. Pittsburgh (1-1)

Opponent: Buffalo

Comment: All the way with Mike Tomczak--a long, cold winter in Pittsburgh.

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Team: 18. St. Louis (1-1)

Opponent: Idle

Comment: Georgia Frontiere agrees to coach; Rich Brooks gets tutored.

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Team: 19. New England (0-2)

Opponent: Arizona

Comment: Has Bill Parcells lost it? Or, did Drew Bledsoe never have it?

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Team: 20. Baltimore (1-1)

Opponent: at Houston

Comment: You can’t play the Raiders every week.

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Team: 21. Cincinnati (0-2)

Opponent: New Orleans

Comment: Ki-Jana Carter averaging 1.3 yards; mannequin would get more.

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Team: 22. Oakland (0-2)

Opponent: Jacksonville

Comment: America’s Funniest Home Videos: view of Al Davis if Raiders lose.

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Team: 23. Jacksonville (1-1)

Opponent: at Oakland

Comment: Will the Jaguars have more fans than the Raiders?

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Team: 24. New Orleans (0-2)

Opponent: at Cincinnati

Comment: Saints’ record in September last 3 years: 1-9.

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Team: 25. Seattle (0-2)

Opponent: Kansas City

Comment: Didn’t think Rams Park practices would have this impact.

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Team: 26. Atlanta (0-2)

Opponent: Idle

Comment: Don’t let bye fool you, Falcons might still lose.

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Team: 27. Arizona (0-2)

Opponent: at New England

Comment: Like many of their fans, the Cardinals have retired.

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Team: 28. New York Giants (0-2)

Opponent: Washington

Comment: The city that never sleeps has two teams in coma.

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Team: 29. New York Jets (0-2)

Opponent: at Miami

Comment: How can Keyshawn Johnson save Jets with Neil O’Donnell there?

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Team: 30. Tampa Bay (0-2)

Opponent: at Denver

Comment: Turn out the lights.