Top to Bottom
CAPSULES AND RANKINGS
Team: 1. Buffalo (4-1)
Opponent: Miami
Comment: Apologies from doubters being accepted.
*
Team: 2. Green Bay (5-1)
Opponent: San Francisco
Comment: Christmas shoppers, genuine cheesehead costs $19.95.
*
Team: 3. Denver (5-1)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: If Lois can marry Superman, Elway can win Super Bowl.
*
Team: 4. San Francisco (4-1)
Opponent: at Green Bay
Comment: 49er fixation on Elvis may not be a fad.
*
Team: 5. Minnesota (5-1)
Opponent: at Tampa Bay
Comment: Like Leaning Tower, so close to toppling.
*
Team: 6. Indianapolis (4-1)
Opponent: Baltimore
Comment: Colts, Browns, Ravens: all so confusing.
*
Team: 7. Pittsburgh (4-1)
Opponent: Cincinnati
Comment: Bettis or Phillips? Bettis has 524 yards, Phillips 136.
*
Team: 8. Kansas City (4-2)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: That’s B-o-n-o, not B-o-z-o. Common mistake.
*
Team: 9. Detroit (4-2)
Opponent: at Oakland
Comment: “Bad As I Wanna Be” written by Rodman, not Fontes.
*
Team: 10. Miami (3-2)
Opponent: at Buffalo
Comment: Johnson fires safety. Barber should be next.
*
Team: 11. Washington (4-1)
Opponent: at New England
Comment: Frauds in capital not all politicians.
*
Team: 12. Dallas (2-3)
Opponent: Arizona
Comment: Barry, have Aikman get the ball to Irvin.
*
Team: 13. Houston (3-2)
Opponent: at Atlanta
Comment: Eddie George could get away with yelling at coach.
*
Team: 14. Philadelphia (3-2)
Opponent: at N.Y. Giants
Comment: NFL will allow Detmer to stand on ladder to throw.
*
Team: 15. Carolina (3-2)
Opponent: St. Louis
Comment: Thanks for the memories.
*
Team: 16. New England (3-2)
Opponent: Washington
Comment: Men to moon? Parcells can win with offense.
*
Team: 17. San Diego (4-2)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: No more big games until Chargers agree to show up.
*
Team: 18. Baltimore (2-3)
Opponent: at Indianapolis
Comment: Locals disgusted by Alomar can adopt Bam Morris.
*
Team: 19. Jacksonville (2-4)
Opponent: N.Y. Jets
Comment: Rison whines, pulls hamstring. Sit down.
*
Team: 20. Chicago (2-4)
Opponent: at New Orleans
Comment: Ah, Bryan Cox, about “That Thing You Do.”
*
Team: 21. N.Y. Giants (2-3)
Opponent: Philadelphia
Comment: 12-year-old’s catch saves Yanks; Giants offer contract.
*
Team: 22. Oakland (2-4)
Opponent: Detroit
Comment: Commitment to excellence: Can’t beat it.
*
Team: 23. Seattle (2-4)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Untraded Mirer stuck in deep Friesz.
*
Team: 24. Arizona (2-3)
Opponent: at Dallas
Comment: When last won two in a row they were Chicago Cardinals.
*
Team: 25. Cincinnati (1-4)
Opponent: at Pittsburgh
Comment: Words David Shula might consider: “Dad, help.”
*
Team: 26. St. Louis (1-4)
Opponent: at Carolina
Comment: Short honeymoons? Di and Charles, Rams and St. Louis.
*
Team: 27. New Orleans (1-5)
Opponent: Chicago
Comment: Nobody better at rallying 0-5 team; lots of practice.
*
Team: 28. Atlanta (0-5)
Opponent: Houston
Comment: Quarterback suspended, but where’s everyone else?
*
Team: 29. Tampa Bay (0-5)
Opponent: Minnesota
Comment: Heart, kidney--why not talent transplant for Dilfer?
*
Team: 30. N.Y. Jets (0-6)
Opponent: at Jacksonville
Comment: Magic number in Peyton Manning derby is 10--more losses.
More to Read
Get our high school sports newsletter
Prep Rally is devoted to the SoCal high school sports experience, bringing you scores, stories and a behind-the-scenes look at what makes prep sports so popular.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.