Capsules and Rankings
Team: 1. Denver (12-1)
Opponent: at Green Bay
Comment: Broncos take pity on blubbering Cheeseheads, rest Elway.
Team: 2. Dallas (8-5)
Opponent: at Arizona
Comment: Cowboys' reaction--Live and Lett Die.
Team: 3. San Francisco (10-3)
Team: 4. Green Bay (10-3)
Comment: First playoff prediction--Packers are frauds.
Team: 5. Pittsburgh (9-4)
Opponent: San Diego
Comment: Steelers order limos waiting at airport for Chargers.
Team: 6. New England (9-4)
Opponent: N.Y. Jets
Comment: Trump says he won $20 mill on Holyfield; has Pats in Super Bowl?
Team: 7. Buffalo (9-4)
Opponent: at Seattle
Comment: Bills without Kelly is like "Frasier" without Frasier.
Team: 8. Washington (8-5)
Opponent: at Tampa Bay
Comment: Team gets inside info from CIA, FBI, DEA--Dilfer's a STIFF.
Team: 9. Carolina (9-4)
Opponent: San Francisco
Comment: First big game around here not involving Dean Smith.
Team: 10. Kansas City (9-4)
Opponent: at Oakland
Comment: Now I lay me down to sleep watching the Chiefs.
Team: 11. Philadelphia (8-6)
Opponent: lost Thursday
Comment: The Rhodes gotten rocky (get it?).
Team: 12. Indianapolis (8-6)
Opponent: won Thursday
Comment: Colts might be moving to Cleveland. Alcatraz is closed.
Team: 13. Houston (7-6)
Comment: Choices--McNair or Chandler? Roseanne or Rosie O'Donnell?
Team: 14. Minnesota (7-6)
Opponent: at Detroit
Comment: Vikings thinking playoffs; Conan O'Brien believes he's funny.
Team: 15. Oakland (6-7)
Opponent: Kansas City
Comment: Raiders can't settle on punter. Al must be on vacation.
Team: 16. Miami (6-7)
Opponent: N.Y. Giants
Comment: Johnson guarantees win over Giants, predicts Allies to win WWII.
Team: 17. Jacksonville (6-7)
Opponent: at Houston
Comment: The part of Scrooge will be played by Tom Coughlin.
Team: 18. Quitters (7-6)
Opponent: at Pittsburgh
Comment: Chargers' new mascot--Straw Man--flops around with no heart.
Team: 19. Arizona (6-7)
Comment: Cards spent week reading Penthouse to prep for Cowboys.
Team: 20. Cincinnati (5-8)
Comment: Imagine sitting in the cold to see the Bengals and Ravens.
Team: 21. Seattle (5-8)
Comment: Seahawks lose Blades for the season. Stop the presses.
Team: 22. N.Y. Giants (5-8)
Opponent: at Miami
Comment: Players sick, but they were viewing themselves on film.
Team: 23. Chicago (5-8)
Opponent: St. Louis
Comment: That Tiny Tim halftime show has been canceled.
Team: 24. Detroit (5-8)
Comment: Fontes--"I'll be home for Christmas."
Team: 25. Baltimore (4-9)
Opponent: at Cincinnati
Comment: Fire at Cleveland Stadium this week; anyone seen Modell?
Team: 26. Tampa Bay (4-9)
Team: 27. St. Louis (4-9)
Opponent: at Chicago
Comment: Georgia's shopping for new coach; no doubt bargain hunting.
Team: 28. New Orleans (2-11)
Comment: Everett sees doctor, but talent transplant ruled out.
Team: 29. Atlanta (2-11)
Opponent: at New Orleans
Comment: Who did more damage to Atlanta? Sherman or June Jones?
Team: 30. N.Y. Jets (1-12)
Opponent: at New England
Comment: Stallone to play Jet quarterback in next disaster flick.
* THE POLLS: Associated Press and USA Today/CNN--C12