Season for Quiz, Eggnog

Let’s see if you paid attention this year. . . .

1. At Cal State Northridge, the football coach said a player who had been shot actually had been sidelined by:

a. A vasectomy

b. A lobotomy

c. Liposuction gone awry

d. An appendectomy

2. First-year football Coach Scott Squires opened Cal Lutheran’s training camp at:

a. West Point

b. Pt. Mugu

c. Seals pen at Sea World

d. Navy SEALS base

3. Ventura College won men’s and women’s state titles in:

a. Boccie

b. Surfing

c. Cedric Ceballos’ river rafting championships

d. Basketball

4. Paul Bubb, the Northridge athletic director, ordered the school committee searching for a new men’s basketball coach to include as a finalist a friend who was:

a. Selling arms to Iraq

b. Selling ice to Eskimos

c. Selling Elmo dolls

d. Selling insurance

5. Administrators at The Master’s cut short the baseball season when some players allegedly were caught:

a. Dancing the Macarena

b. Praising Bill Clinton

c. Chewing tobacco

d. Watching X-rated material on the Internet

6. Pierce finished the football season 0-10 and extended its losing streak to 18 games, but the school apparently plans to field a team next year to:

a. Divert attention from other campus problems

b. Get disaster aid from FEMA

c. Establish insanity, in case of a lawsuit

d. Nobody knows why; nobody cares

7. Lorenzo Romar, the first-year men’s basketball coach at Pepperdine and former assistant at UCLA, said he’s not considering replacing Jim Harrick because:

a. He doesn’t have a car to sell

b. Peter Dalis is too hung up on honesty

c. In Malibu, he’s within drooling distance of the “Baywatch” set

d. He’s committed to Pepperdine

8. Northridge lowered its academic standards for athletes because the school was worried about:

a. Having too many Rhodes scholars

b. Players who couldn’t read their jersey numbers

c. Foreign athletes who don’t speak English

d. Stiffer standards for athletes than the general student body

9. After shutting out opponents, Moorpark football players get:

a. Hugs from their mothers

b. Showered with Gatorade

c. Cash from agents

d. Tri-tip steaks barbecued by coaches

10. The Valley men’s basketball team recently won the Las Vegas tournament, which was played at:

a. Caesar’s Palace

b. Wayne Newton’s backyard

c. The Thomas & Mack Center

d. Barstow College

The answers to all of the questions is “d.”

Give yourself an extra shot of eggnog if you got all of them correct.

Heck, do it anyway even if you missed them all.