And the Oscar for the Most Overexposed Goes to . . .

Downey’s California:

--Dennis Rodman’s cameo at the Academy Awards was mercifully brief. I was so afraid that Dennis would run on stage and head-butt Debbie Reynolds.

--Jerry Maguire’s client won. This means he will want to renegotiate for more money.

--Lauren Bacall, dump your agent, hire Jerry.

--”The Fan,” that 1996 baseball film with Robert De Niro and Wesley Snipes, is still our favorite for this decade’s Worst Picture award.

--Could be a rare year indeed for Billy Crystal . . . emcee for the Oscars and courtside for the Clipper playoffs.

--I’ve seen more of Muhammad Ali in the past year than I have in the past 20.

--Pound for pound, Roy Jones Jr. is no longer the greatest fighter in the world.

--Between the late punches by Jones and the low blows by Andrew Golota, boxers must listen to referees’ instructions the way airline passengers listen to safety instructions . . . in one ear and out the other.

--I was glad to see the Lakers win a game at New Jersey, the home of the Milli Vanilli crowd noise.

--It doesn’t bother me, the Nets’ using dubbed cheers. What bothers me is that they don’t update their tapes. I hear they still use ones of New Jersey fans yelling, “Kareem, you stink!” “You oughta retire, Worthy!” and “McAdoo, you bum!”

--Coach John Calipari of the Nets called somebody “a Mexican idiot.” Calipari es loco.

--Nick Van Exel should send the NBA a check for $50,000, rather than $10,000. That way his next five attacks on officials would be paid in advance.

--A bet on the outcome of the NCAA men’s game between North Carolina and Arizona is on between rival alumni Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr of the Chicago Bulls. Asked how much he was willing to wager against Tar Heel fan Jordan, Kerr joked: “A percent of income.”

--Arizona 77, Carolina 69. Lute’s on his way to passing both Smith and Rupp.

--Minnesota 91, Kentucky 90. I dig them Gophers.

--Muffet McGraw coached Notre Dame’s women to the NCAA Final Four. Then along came a spider, and sat down beside her, and the Irish drew a technical foul.

--I like Stanford over Old Dominion in the women’s semifinals. Stanford’s players are so smart, most of them know where Old Dominion is.

--Not that Greg Norman wants to win the Masters that badly, but I hear he’s been telling Tiger Woods: “Here, walk down my front steps.”

--I like Arnold Palmer at the Masters this year. Not to win . . . I just like Arnold Palmer.

--As soon as Jim McMahon retired from the NFL, I wore a headband with one word written on it: GOOD.

--Keith Jackson has also retired from the Green Bay Packers. Keith, if you go into TV broadcasting, change your name.

--This is my dream: Chan Ho Park wins Game 7 of the World Series for the Dodgers, then cuts up all their clothing in the clubhouse celebration.

--I have to pick Cleveland to win the World Series, because of a personal obsession, but I’ll pull for the Dodgers privately.

--The only bad news this spring for the Dodgers is that sometime this season, they might have to bat against Seattle’s Randy Johnson.

--Albert Belle’s spring average: .232. Keep up the bad work, Albert.

--I know Magic Johnson’s desire was to enter the Hall of Fame with Larry Bird, but each should have his own day. They weren’t a combo platter; they were great rivals. Grant didn’t go to the White House and take Lee. Frazier didn’t touch Ali’s torch. Let’s have a Larry day and later have an Earvin day.

--Cigar at stud: No Cigarettes.

--Leave the poor horse alone. He has tried wine, candlelight, soft music . . . maybe he’ll simply have to adopt.

--The Mighty Ducks have won more games than the Boston Bruins, the Chicago Blackhawks and the Toronto Maple Leafs. This is not your father’s National Hockey League.