Silly NCAA Rules Infractions Boggle the Mind

For pure amusement, take a look at the December issue of The NCAA Register. It offers more scandalous material than the National Enquirer.

Dozens of NCAA secondary infractions committed by unidentified schools are listed in the issue. Many are silly and explain how easy it is to violate NCAA rules.

Whether UCLA, USC, Pepperdine or Cal State Northridge are responsible for any of the rule violations is unknown, but here are my favorite infractions with suggestions on how to deal with future rule-breakers:

Facts: Several athletic department staff members at a school took part in office pools in which $2 to $5 were “contributed” (read: bet) on college athletic events and amounts up to $30 were “contributed” to fantasy leagues on pro baseball, basketball and football.

Institutional action: Staff members were reprimanded.

Comment: The school deserves the death penalty unless athletic department staff are required to attend Gambler’s Anonymous. An NCAA spokeswoman said not a single penny can be spent on fantasy leagues among athletic department officials.

Facts: A baseball head coach and assistant coaches used tobacco products during various practices.

Institutional action: Reprimands were issued and one coach sought professional assistance in his attempt to quit using smokeless tobacco.

Comment: The head coach should be forced to drink his own spit.

Facts: A women’s volleyball head coach and administrator bought dinner for six high school coaches following a meeting.

Institutional action: The six coaches had to repay the cost of the dinner.

Comment: Let’s hope the dinner wasn’t at Monty’s.

Facts: A men’s basketball coach held a practice following a loss.

Institutional action: The coach was reprimanded and one practice was taken away during the first week of the 1997 season.

Comment: This sounds like something Bob Knight would do.

Facts: During a one-week period, a women’s rowing team was not provided a day off from practice.

Institutional action: Provided the team with two days off the following week.

Comment: Head coach should be thrown overboard.

Facts: Students at a men’s basketball game displayed a welcoming sign to prospects at halftime.

Institutional action: Students were reprimanded.

Comment: I suggest Chelsea Clinton create her own sign to welcome Notre Dame High tailback Justin Fargas when he visits Stanford.

Facts: An assistant softball coach gave a ride home off campus to a team member.

Institutional action: Required the student to repay $12 in mileage and reviewed NCAA rules with coaching staff.

Comment: What happens if a hurricane is about to hit and the student needs a ride home? Is the coach breaking NCAA rules by offering a lift?

Facts: An assistant football coach gave a playbook to a prospect’s high school coach to give to the player.

Institutional action: A letter of admonishment was issued to the assistant coach.

Comment: All the assistant coach had to do was put the playbook on the Internet and tell the prospect the web address.

Facts: During two basketball road games, team members received a morning snack and meal money for breakfast. An administrative assistant thought it would be OK for players to receive the snack at any time instead of being limited to the night before the game.

Institutional action: Reviewed legislation with coaching members.

Comment: Players should start hunger strike.

Facts: A portion of a football camp brochure folded out into a poster.

Institutional action: School ceased publication of the brochures.

Comment: This is a First Amendment case for Johnnie Cochran to take to the Supreme Court.

Facts: A softball head coach served as announcer for state high school softball game.

Institutional action: School issued a letter of admonishment to head coach and advised future violations may result in recruiting restrictions.

Comment: Next time the head coach might want to recruit Marv Albert as the announcer.

Facts: A men’s soccer team’s shorts carried more than one logo and one exceeded the permissible size.

Institutional action: Uniforms replaced.

Comment: Calvin Klein isn’t happy.

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Eric Sondheimer’s local column appears Wednesday and Sunday. He can be reached at (818) 772-3422.