Life Is Tough at the Top, but It’s the Pits at Bottom

A review of Week 6 in the NFL, and a word from Dallas Coach Barry Switzer: “Punt.”

This Week’s Quiz

If no one attends the Cincinnati-Tennessee game in Memphis on Sunday, will they still play?

Troubling Trend

The Packers are in danger of being trampled. So far four opponents have rushed for more than 100 yards against Green Bay--Detroit’s Barry Sanders, 139 yards; Minnesota’s Robert Smith, 132; Tampa Bay’s Warrick Dunn, 125, and Chicago’s Raymont Harris, 122.

Luck, the Only Explanation

Lindy Infante still has a job. A loser with the Packers, his Colts are now 0-5, and Infante’s overall record is 33-52.

“I don’t think all of a sudden I’ve become a lousy football coach overnight,” Infante said.

No, it’s been a consistent process. The last time the Colts opened with five consecutive defeats, in 1991, they fired their coach, Ron Meyer, before the sixth game.

Correction

Cincinnati Coach Bruce Coslet was quoted as saying, “I got a tired team.” What he meant to say was, “I got a terrible team.” He regrets the error.

Three Teams To Watch Closer

1. Chicago--The players are also obviously losing it: “I still have hope we can make it to the playoffs,” said defensive end John Thierry.

2. Oakland--Joe Bugel sold his soul to the devil to become a head coach. What’s left to pawn for a victory?

3. Pittsburgh--Quarterback Kordell Stewart, a one-man fantasy team, has rushed for six touchdowns--six more than Detroit’s Sanders.

If the Planets Are Aligned:

Dallas could be 3-6 in four weeks, after losing road games in Washington, Philadelphia and San Francisco, and falling at home to Jacksonville.

Notify Ripley’s

Green Bay defensive end Gabe Wilkins has two touchdowns; Dallas’ Emmitt Smith has none.

Helped Themselves the Most

San Diego. A year ago, running back Gary Brown was working out at a YMCA in Williamsport, Pa., waiting for someone in the NFL to rehire him. In his five starts with the Chargers, he averaged a little more than 46 yards a game. Against the Raiders, he ran for 181 yards, and now needs only 585 more to collect a $1-million bonus from the Chargers.

Next YMCA Candidate?

Oakland running back Napoleon Kaufman had 11 carries and 13 yards.

There’s Always Someone Worse

The Bears traded a No. 1 pick to Seattle for quarterback Rick Mirer, and in his three starts so far, Mirer has produced three field goals.

Hurt Themselves the Most

The Baltimore Ravens are in the middle of a PSL drive in preparation for moving into a new stadium next year. But unless they are selling tickets for only the first halves of all their games, they’re in trouble. Since moving to Baltimore last year the Ravens have blown 11 second-half leads.

As Sure as the Sun Comes Up

If they play in October, the Eagles will win. They have now won 10 straight October games, going back to Oct. 16, 1994, when Rich Kotite was still coaching.

Still Waiting

For Dallas offensive tackle Erik Williams to join his teammates at the line of scrimmage so Troy Aikman can spike the ball.

How Bad Is it?

Mirer and New Orleans quarterback Heath Shuler completed 11 passes, combined, in the first half--three fewer than the number of punts by both teams.

Not Everyone Can Be an NFL Coach

After a week of practice, game plans and high-level meetings, Cincinnati had fourth and 16 from the Bengal 14-yard line in the first quarter--and ran a fake punt. Repeat: Fourth and 16. At the Bengal 14.

Running back Eric Bieniemy took the short snap, ran into his own offensive lineman, then stumbled forward for six yards.

Three plays later, Jacksonville scored a touchdown.

A day later, everyone learned that Bieniemy had called the play without Coach Bruce Coslet’s knowledge.

Do you think a player working for Bill Parcells would call a fake punt without his permission?

Big Blunder

Tied at 13 with a little more than two minutes to go and the ball on their own one-yard line, the Lions hand the ball to Sanders.

Sanders, who usually leads the league in runs for lost yardage because of his cut-back style, is tackled for a safety--the sixth time against Buffalo he has been dropped behind the line of scrimmage.

And the Lions lose.

Who’s Counting?

That’s seven dropped passes so far for Green Bay wide receiver Antonio Freeman.

Goat of the Week

This award will now be known as the “Kevin Butler Goof of the Week,” after his missed field goal try from 31 yards with 52 seconds allowed the Vikings to come back and beat the Cardinals, 20-19.

The Week’s MVP

Minnesota tight end Andrew Glover, who got wide open against a very good Arizona defense with only seconds to play and hauled in a 43-yard pass from Brad Johnson to set up Eddie Murray’s 38-yard game-winning field goal.

News Flash

This just in: Erik Williams has arrived at the line of scrimmage, but has yet to get into his stance.

Upon Reflection

Make that “Grounded McNair,” seeing as how Oiler quarterback Steve McNair has 97 net yards passing.