Good, Bad and Mariucci

A review of Week 1 in the NFL, and a reminder: If Coach Steve Mariucci couldn’t beat Navy, why did anyone expect him to beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?

Three Teams to Watch Closer

1. CAROLINA--They’ve got a bunch of old geezers playing defense who might be better suited to collecting Social Security checks than playoff money.

2. MINNESOTA--Quarterback Brad Johnson quietly and efficiently played brilliantly in moving Warren Moon out of town, and winning in Buffalo was more of the same.

3. TAMPA BAY--The Buccaneers were 5-2 down the stretch under the defensive expertise of Coach Tony Dungy, and quarterback Trent Dilfer threw 26 passes against the 49ers without an interception.

Helped Themselves the Most

THE RAMS. They’re in first place, Carolina and San Francisco lost, and the 49ers visit St. Louis this week all banged up. A point of order, however. The Rams were 4-0 two years ago and the 49ers came calling without Steve Young and some lug named Elvis Grbac took his place and slapped the Lambs silly.

Hurt Themselves the Most

THE SEAHAWKS. They were home, excitement had returned to the Kingdome with great expectations and a new owner in Paul Allen, and then Neil O’Donnell riddled Seattle’s highly regarded defense for five touchdowns in a 41-3 victory by the New York Jets.

Big Play

So you say you don’t know much about Sam Garnes. Well, today he’s made it in New York and in his very first game. The Eagles were driving for a game-tying touchdown behind a red-hot Rodney Peete, but Garnes, a linebacker from the University of Cincinnati taken in the fifth round of this year’s draft, intercepted a pass and ran it 95 yards for a touchdown to secure a 31-17 victory for the Giants.

Big Blunder

The Arizona Cardinals, the universe’s reminder that some people can never win, were less than two minutes from their first opening-day victory since 1991. They had the ball, a 21-17 lead on the Bengals and the clock was ticking in their favor. Running back Larry Centers advanced the ball to the Cincinnati 37-yard line with 1:10 left, then stretched out for more yardage and fumbled. Cincinnati struck back with a touchdown, and Arizona remains Arizona, a loser.

Three Things We Learned

1. Elvis should have remained missing.

2. Seattle Coach Dennis Erickson should update his resume.

3. It’s a good thing San Diego closed its practices last week or else the Chargers might not have scored that touchdown and been shut out by New England instead of losing, 41-7.

Still Awaiting

49er receiver J.J. Stokes’ first catch.

Much Ado About Nothing

Buffalo defensive end Bruce Smith, a chronic whiner, got his six-year, $28.2-million contract shortly before Sunday’s game with Minnesota, then missed the chance to tackle Viking running back Robert Smith, who went 78 yards for a score.

Stats to Ponder

Imagine the excitement of paying customers in the Pontiac Silverdome who were treated to 17 punts by Detroit and Atlanta. . . . Falcon running back Jamal Anderson ran 20 times for an average gain of 1.6 yards. This is known in NFL circles as going nowhere. . . . The 49ers had 91 net yards passing, and repeat, they do not need Bill Walsh hanging around their practice facility. . . . The Giants’ defense, which had 30 sacks in 16 games last year, had nine Sunday and at this rate will finish with 144.

And the Week 1 MVP Is . . .

USC’s own Rob Johnson, quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars, who made like Robert Redford in “The Natural” and fought through the pain of an ankle injury to beat Baltimore.

Goats of the Week

THE BALTIMORE RAVENS. For the third straight game, they blew a fourth-quarter lead against division rival Jacksonville. More significant, there is a feeling around the NFL that anyone playing quarterback against Baltimore can have both hands tied behind his back and still win by a field goal.

Three Reasons for the Cowboys’ Success

1. Jerry Jones.

2. Jerry Jones.

3. Jerry Jones, who took control of a team in chaos and demanded that it focus on football.