A Topsy-Turvy Week Features Buccaneers

A review of Week 2 in the NFL, and an apology for getting the “Bays” all mixed up in preseason prognostications: Tampa Bay, heavens, everyone knows, not Green Bay, will go undefeated this season.

This Week’s Trend

Ki-Jana Carter, Barry Sanders, Marshall Faulk and Thurman Thomas ran the ball a combined 47 times for 83 yards. That’s an average of 1.7 yards a carry.

Three Teams to Watch Closer

1. DALLAS--A field-goal offense lacking only one thing--a kicker.

2. MIAMI--Bench Dan Marino! Once upon a time Jimmy Johnson liked Steve Walsh better than Troy Aikman, and then he realized he wanted to go to the Super Bowl some day.

3. NEW ENGLAND--Drew Bledsoe’s next pass will be aimed right between Bill Parcells’ eyes.

Helped Themselves the Most

The Buccaneers. Tampa Bay is 7-2 in its last nine games. One more victory and all rules are changed, putting Coach Tony Dungy immediately into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Hurt Themselves the Most

The Rams. They got the 49ers without Jerry Rice and Steve Young, and choked, fumbling the ball away four times and losing a 14th consecutive time to San Francisco.

As Sure as the Sun Comes Up

Atlanta quarterback Chris Chandler got hurt. (He suffered a concussion.)

Everyone Can’t Be Wrong

New Orleans quarterback Heath Shuler remains a stiff.

Big Play

Minnesota quarterback Brad Johnson completed a nine-yard touchdown pass to Chris Walsh with 37 seconds to play, knocking off the Chicago Bears and setting up an NFC Central Division first-place showdown with the Buccaneers.

Big Blunder

The Packers didn’t want to meet the salary demands of kicker Chris Jacke, so they let him go, drafting Brett Conway, who bombed in the exhibition season before getting hurt. Who needs a kicker when you have Brett Favre and all those touchdown passes? The Packers. They asked Ryan Longwell, a rookie from California cut by the 49ers, to defeat Philadelphia with a 28-yard field goal with 15 seconds to play. And he missed.

Three Things We Learned

1. Paul Allen may have $14 billion, but he still doesn’t have a victory as owner of the Seattle Seahawks.

2. Be prepared to yell, “Fumble!” as soon as the ball is handed to Bear running back Rashaan Salaam.

3, Anyone can play quarterback for Jacksonville and look like Joe Montana.

Still Waiting For

Mike Ditka to kick some butt.

Much Ado About Nothing

Football teams from New York.

Stats to Ponder

Bring back the touchdown! In 14 games, there were 64 field-goal attempts--50 of which were successful. . . . The New York Jets have lost 13 consecutive home games. . . . The Pittsburgh Steelers led the NFL with 51 sacks a year ago, but have none after two games. . . . The Colts have yet to score a touchdown.

Three Reasons for

Jacksonville’s Success

1. The San Diego Chargers, who cut running back Natrone Means because he couldn’t run effectively anymore.

2. The Kansas City Chiefs, who had quarterback Steve Matthews for three years and never allowed him to take a snap.

3. Green Bay. The Packers had Mark Brunell before anyone else.

And the Week 2 MVP Is:

Last week’s goat, Arizona running back Larry Centers. Centers’ fumble in the closing minutes against Cincinnati allowed the Bengals to rally and win, but against the Cowboys, he ran 29 yards with a pass from Kent Graham to the Dallas three-yard line, setting up Kevin Butler’s 20-yard field goal and ending a 13-game losing streak against the Cowboys.

And the Goats

of the Week Are:

1, Indianapolis Coach Lindy Infante. The Colts trailed New England, 14-6, with five seconds remaining in the first half, the ball on the Patriot one-yard line and Infante called a pass play. Time ran out, the pass fell incomplete and New England went on to outscore Indy in the second half, 17-0.

2, Detroit Coach Bobby Ross, who must be using Wayne Fontes’ old playbook.