These Guys Never Worry About Low Blows

After New York Yankee owner George Steinbrenner and portly pitcher David Wells nearly came to blows recently in the Yankee clubhouse, the New York Post ran a Steinbrenner-Wells tale of the tape that included these categories:

“Best punch: Wells--left hook. Steinbrenner--double cross.

“Upbringing: Steinbrenner--Culver Military. Wells--Hells Angels.

“Hobbies: Wells--memorabilia. Steinbrenner--collecting managers.”

Wells reportedly challenged Steinbrenner to a fight after the Boss told him he couldn’t trade him because “nobody wants you.”

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Trivia time: The first NFL draft was held in 1936. Who was the first player selected and by which team?

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Egg beater: Not all the balls that Mark McGwire hits hard leave the park. After McGwire flied to center in a game in Chicago, Cub pitcher Steve Trachsel said the ball was lopsided. “I had to get another ball. It was like an egg,” he said.

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Add McGwire: Cincinnati catcher Eddie Taubensee after McGwire signed a three-year, $28.5-million contract with the St. Louis Cardinals:

“Man, that guy hits home runs so far that they should only count the ones he hits into the second or third decks. If he hits ‘em in the lower deck, they should be ground-rule doubles.”

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Business as usual: Nate Newton of the Dallas Cowboys on a newspaper report that owner Jerry Jones is considering coaching the team:

“Well, he signs my checks, he can do anything he wants to do. He’d do like any other coach, turn it over to his assistants and just be a PR man.”

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Bitter wine: From Jay Leno: “I saw an unusual ad in the classified section of the L.A. Times. It said, ‘Must sell unopened case of champagne. Call the Los Angeles Dodgers.’ ”

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Losing game plan: In a survey conducted by the Nashville Tennessean, 53% said the Tennessee Oilers should do everything they can to secure the first pick in the next draft and take Archie Manning.

Said Steve Schoenfeld of the Arizona Republic: “In other words, just give up, baby.”

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Web site: Kansas City wide receiver Andre Rison has caught touchdown passes for an NFL-record six teams--and he believes he has not been given due credit for his accomplishments. So he has taken to calling himself Spiderman.

“He’s the unknown, underappreciated super hero,” Rison said.

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Looking back: On this day in 1913, Walter Johnson of the Washington Senators defeated the Philadelphia Athletics, 1-0, and closed his season with a 36-7 record, 11 shutouts and a 1.14 earned-run average.

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Trivia answer: Halfback Jay Berwanger of the University of Chicago by the Philadelphia Eagles. Berwanger elected not to play pro football.

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And finally: Giant Coach Jim Fassel on changing personnel: “Playing for the New York Giants is not like getting appointed to the Supreme Court. It’s not a lifetime appointment and changes can be made.”