Sliding to a Standstill

By the time the brake lights flash, it’s too late.

I’m late for work, but there is no way out. No alternate routes, no shortcuts. Just this parking lot on California 33 as hundreds of frustrated commuters try to squeeze out of the Ojai Valley.

A long line of cars and trucks creeps forward ever so slightly, one bumping up to the next optimistically. A bright orange construction sign warns: “Prepare to Stop.”

I am stopped.

Kids on bikes whiz past stalled cars. Ten meaningless cycles of a stoplight come and go. Traffic crawls. Exhaust spews. And my blood boils.

Ultimately defeated, I just turn off the engine and wait. And wait.

It has been like this for the last two weeks, ever since a wall of mud crashed down on the highway along the Arnaz Grade, blocking access in and out of the valley.

There have been other landslides, compliments of El Nino, including the massive slide on California 33 above Ojai. But this one oozed its way over the main road into town and stuck there like an uninvited guest.

Suddenly, my zippy 25-minute commute to Ventura has turned into a grueling marathon lasting an hour, sometimes more, as road crews have worked around the clock to move the mud and shore up the weakened hillside.

The last few days have been better. A California Department of Transportation sign warning of 60-minute delays is now gone, and the blocked southbound lane is expected to be reopened this weekend.

But who knows when another rainstorm might strike, unleashing the umpteenth round of mudslides and creating future road closures? That has certainly been the pattern this winter.

To the north, a landslide 30-feet deep has California 33 blocked several miles above Ojai. The stretch of mountain highway is not expected to reopen until summer.

To the east, California 150 to Santa Paula is limited to one lane near St. Thomas Aquinas School because of a washout along the creek.

To the west, California 150 to Santa Barbara is completely closed due to multiple landslides and washouts near Lake Casitas--and could be closed for another month.

And to the south, Santa Ana Road--one of my favorite shortcuts through Oak View and Casitas Springs--continues to be blocked by a large mudslide that may not be cleared for months.

What’s left? California 33 . . . or a helicopter.

When the Arnaz slide happened two weeks ago, the highway was shut down completely, forcing Ventura-bound commuters to take California 150 through Santa Paula, which is in the midst of its own road construction project. Between the traffic, detours and partial closures, it took 1 1/2 hours to reach Ventura that morning.

Closing arguments were underway in the Michael Dally trial and I, as the Times’ courthouse reporter, had to be there.

Understand, Ojai Valley residents are no strangers to these types of problems. Floods, fires, mudslides--no big deal. They come with the terrain and are the occasional consequences of living in an isolated, stunningly beautiful place surrounded by mountains.

But natural disasters come and go fairly quickly. This traffic nightmare has been torturously slow.

As I was helplessly trapped last week, squished between a blue minivan and a big white truck in a long parade of cars idling through Oak View, I tried to put myself in a positive frame of mind. Read the paper. Put on makeup. Scribbled the first few paragraphs of a story.

Traffic scooted past the Hilltop Bar, which, I noted, opens at 10 a.m. Any temptation to stop, however, was sobered by the thought of losing my place in line.

It took 10 minutes to crawl half a mile. After passing the combination surf and psychic shop, which advertises a psychic hotline, I decided to place a call.

Psychic Sandra Adams kindly ran down her price list: $15 for a palm reading, $40 for Tarot cards and $50 for a complete psychic make-over. She said her readings are 97% accurate. All right then, what about the traffic? I asked.

“The construction on 33 will last awhile,” Adams said, estimating a month to three weeks. “We are going to get more rain.”

I didn’t need a psychic to tell me that.