Advertisement

Right, and Who Wants a Movie About the Titanic?

Share

Steve Hummer of the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, commenting on 19 NFL teams passing on Minnesota Viking Randy Moss in the draft:

“Akin to 19 record companies auditioning the Beatles and telling them, ‘Cut your hair, get Ringo more involved, then we’ll talk.’

“Or, to 19 editors informing John Grisham, ‘Nobody wants to read about lawyers.’

“Even the NBA, now officially the world’s daffiest league, got around to drafting Michael Jordan by the third pick.”

Advertisement

*

Trivia time: Who were the players drafted ahead of Jordan in 1984?

*

Dallas turnoff: Randy Galloway in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on Randy Johnson signing with the Arizona Diamondbacks instead of the Texas Rangers:

“I was beginning to wonder. Was it us? Was the drawl too slow, was it a thing about our chicken-frying a steak, were there too many pickups barreling down our roads, was it the crispy fried summer heat?

“The word got out that Johnson’s wife didn’t care to move here. And Todd Stottlemyre’s wife didn’t care to stay here. Personally, I didn’t care enough to ask why.”

*

Coin-gate: Reader George Kiseda suggests this trivia question:

Q: How many Steelers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Not as many as it takes to call a coin toss.

*

Words of wisdom: Ira Berkow of the New York Times, writing on the recent death of former Knick coach Red Holzman, recalled that Holzman, a street philosopher of sorts, once said:

“Never let a bald barber cut your hair, he has no respect for it.”

*

Trouble ahead? Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post, on Lawrence Phillips’ planning to play in the NFL’s European league: “The Autobahn just got more dangerous.”

*

Weird stuff: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “As if hockey doesn’t have enough problems, now comes the attack of toxic Zambonis.

Advertisement

“Researchers at Harvard have discovered the ice-cleaning machines might produce hazardous levels of nitrogen dioxide, and there are reports of players having respiratory problems. One solution is greater ventilation, but then, of course, the ice would melt.”

*

Looking back: On this day in 1980, USC upset previously unbeaten Notre Dame, 20-3, at the Coliseum.

*

Trivia answer: Hakeem Olajuwon, by the Houston Rockets, and Sam Bowie, Portland Trail Blazers.

*

And finally: Officials at the Asian Games in Bangkok, Thailand, have deputized bug squads to conduct around-the-clock watches for dead insects in the swimming pools.

The squads were formed after thousands of insects were found floating in the pools at the partially covered arena.

“It would be most unpleasant for the swimmers,” swim chief Kamol Saen-Issara said. “For Thai men, it might not be a serious problem, but I’m sure it would make the foreigners’ hair stand on end.”

Advertisement
Advertisement