Sandwiches Take Bite Out of Namesakes

Question From Dec. 1: Who should have a sandwich named after him / her and what should be in it?

“The definitive Bill Clinton sandwich: three parts baloney, two parts ham, two parts tongue, lots of hot air, a giant pickle and plenty of undressing!”

--ANTHONY DENT, Los Angeles

“Jay Leno: ham on wry.”

--S.M. CHEN, La Crescenta

“Calista Flockhart Sandwich: Olive Oyl on a single bread stick.”

--RUBY GONZALES, Santa Ana

“The Charles Schulz: white bread with Peanuts, butter and jelly--an old standby with little substance or originality.”

--SCOTT INGRAM, Camarillo

“The Jerry Springer: meatball separating two pieces of white bread.”

--TONY K., Palos Verdes

“The Ken Starr: A chicken sandwich that’s not really satisfying but costs $40 million, nevertheless.”

--OMARI CHRISTIAN,

Los Angeles

“There should be a Bill Maher sandwich: five slices of hot tongue with plenty of mustard and relish placed between black and white slices of bread.”

--BARB COGAN, Montebello

“Kenneth Starr. It would be filled with half-baked innuendoes.”

--DWIGHT AND JOYCE CATES,

Ventura

“Newt Gingrich Sandwich: tongue and baloney on hot-air-baked white bread. Meat is piled so that it leans to the right.”

--MIKE KIRWAN, Venice

“The Bill Gates Sandwich: It is huge (many mega-bites) and encompasses everything, but you are hungry again right away and you want the next one to be bigger, faster and look better.”

--D.L. BURKHART, via Internet

The question for Dec. 8:

The Calico Co. in Vacaville offers cookies with custom-made fortunes inside (see story, this page). If we were to start a company called Miss Fortune’s Cookies, what messages should we include?

Send replies of 25 words or fewer to Smart Aleck, in care of Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail socalliving@latimes.com. Include your name and hometown. Replies will appear next week.