Punch Lines

No Purple Pops: The Artist has a new album out. “It’s called ‘The Songs Formerly Known as Hits.’ ” (Andrew Wiscot)

Highway Patrol: “Cable network TNT is producing a made-for-TV movie version of the ‘80s hit series ‘ChiPs,’ which will reunite original cast members Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox in their roles as Ponch and Jon. Can you believe they were available?” (Dennis Miller)

Sexy Sequels: They’re already thinking of making a sequel to the Jim Carrey movie “The Truman Show.” “This sequel would be X-rated and the title would be ‘The Clinton Show.’ ” (Paul Ecker)

Visible Vistas: The restored “Gone With the Wind” is much clearer. “Now, in the post-Civil War scenes, you can make out the ‘Strom Thurmond for Senate’ posters in the background.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Scream 3: The tabloids are all over the Barbra Streisand-James Brolin honeymoon. “Today, one of them reported that during sex, Streisand ordered one of her assistants to scream for her, so she wouldn’t hurt her voice.” (Paul Steinberg)

Equality for All: Unmarried couples, including gay men and lesbians, in New York City will be treated the same in the eyes of local government as those who are married under landmark legislation passed. “City officials say gay and unmarried couples have just as much right to wait endlessly in long lines at city agencies as do married people.” (Johnny Robish)

Playing Safe: A Los Angeles clinic reported excellent results from a pregnancy prevention study begun in 1993 that was targeted at males. “So far, this program’s 100% effective. In five years, no male has gotten pregnant.” (Argus Hamilton)

Grammy Prospects: Sen. Trent Lott is part of a group called the Singing Senators. They just came out with a CD, although the sound is a little muffled. “Turns out they recorded it in the back pocket of a tobacco executive.” (Jay Leno)

Artsy Gangplanks: Big controversy in the Bay Area about the new design for the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge. Local mayors can’t agree on the plan. They say it’s ugly, flawed and mediocre. “In fact, it’s so ugly they’re afraid no one will ever jump off it.” (Bill Williams)

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