Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV*
HOW2WIN FRENZ ANNDD NFLUENC PEEPLE, UMORON
IKANT BLEEVIT. WHENEVR
IGO2 ZE BOOKSTR IC
MORNMOR HOWE2 BOOKES "FER DUMMYS"! MANY
THOUSAN! DAT PUBLSHR
HAZZ GT2BRCH BYENOWW.
WUZ SOEZ: IFI INSULTU,
UU WILLBUY. NQWDBLE!
OKNOW INOALL IND2NO
2KRE8 MYOWNN LIST
UV CANTLUZ BSTSLR
CMN SOON FROM
"ORIGAMI FOR LUNITIX"
"PHANCEE ITALYUN COOKNN FFORE PUNX"
"ABSTRKT XPRSNSM FORRR
"OPERATC SINGIN FORE
"DA GEEKBOY BOOKE
IEVEN HAV THE ADVRTZN
SLOGAN REDI2GO. IT SEZ: "YULITL PHREEK, JUS
BYTHEBK UND GOAWAE WUDJA?!"
For PL8SPK translation, please see Page 33.
(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)
How to Win Friends and Influence People, You Moron
I can't believe it. Whenever I go to the bookstore I see more and more how-to books "For Dummies"! Many thousand! That publisher has got to be rich by now.
Who knew the key to publishing success was so easy: If I insult you, you will buy. Incredible! OK, now I know all I need to know to create my own list of can't-lose, bestseller self-help titles. Coming soon from PL8SPK Books:
"Origami for Lunatics"
"Fancy Italian Cooking for Punks"
"Abstract Expressionism for Lowlife People"
"Operatic Singing for Old Ugly Pathetic Dissolute Self-Centered Schizoid Bums"
"The Geekboy Book of Advanced Swedish Massage"
I even have the advertising slogan ready to go. It says: "You little freak, just buy the book and go away, would ya?!"