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What: Tim Salmon “Net Boy” commercial on ESPN

In an attempt to remove the label “the best player never to appear in the All-Star game,” Angel Tim Salmon agreed to appear in advertisements. In this ESPN spot promoting the network’s web site, Salmon sits next to Net Boy--a stereotypical fantasy league geek--and his trusty computer.

On a call to Salmon’s agent, Net Boy purports to relate fantasy league statistics, proving Salmon is worth more than Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs.

“Yet,” Net Boy says, “my numbers show Sosa is earning approximately seven mil more.”

Salmon professes outrage, and his agent vows to contact Angel General Manager Bill Bavasi. This is your clue that Salmon is acting, since he would no more complain about his contract than he would play ball in his underwear.

Salmon’s agent, Ted Updike, says he likes the spot. You wonder why, though, because Net Boy has a point.

Sosa and Salmon, both 29, signed four-year contract extensions in 1997, Sosa for $42.5 million and Salmon for $22.5 million. Their average seasons from 1993-97: Sosa hit .267 with 34 homers, 100 RBIs, 26 stolen bases; Salmon .297, 30 homers, 99 RBIs, five stolen bases.

Is this any way for Updike to recommend himself?

“It’s a cute little spoof,” said Updike.

Updike points out that Salmon, unlike Sosa, would not have been eligible for free agency last winter.

“With his numbers and his time clock versus Sammy, there’s no correlation,” Updike said.

Good thing. With Disney owning both ESPN and the Angels, you wouldn’t want the star thinking the boss is poking fun at his salary on national TV.