No Fooling: It Should Be Cool to Score

Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram writes that Texas running back Ricky Williams is a member of the “End Zone Cool Club” because he doesn’t demonstrate after scoring a touchdown.

“There is, however, a rival football organization to the EZCC. It has a membership numbering hundreds. It is called the End Zone Fool Club. You see their act every Sunday, and not just in the end zone. A sack, a tackle, an interception--they do the dance of fools--uncool fools.

“It was Lou Holtz who’s credited for once uttering the immortal words, ‘Act like you’ve been there [before].’ ”

The credit for the one-liner should really go to the late Paul Brown, but we won’t quibble.

*

Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for punt-return yardage in a game?

*

Who really cares? Rick Telander in the Chicago Sun-Times: “The NBA owners’ lockout continues onward, and right now I suppose you could say the monetary impasse is being greeted by most sports fans with a gigantic yawn.

“Look outside. See the leaves and the pumpkin remnants and the geese trying to figure out whether they should migrate south or just stay in the water hazard along the sixth hole until March?

“It’s fall. It’s football weather.”

*

Appropriate: Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on former professional wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura’s stunning election as governor of Minnesota:

“The state Legislature immediately changed the slogan printed on Minnesota license plates to read, ‘10,000 Flakes.’ ”

*

Cold: Bob Smizik in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “They have a place for people who purposely withhold tax money from the government and use it for their own benefit--as the Penguins have done with the city amusement tax.

“It’s called jail.”

*

Mr. Soccer: From syndicated columnist Norman Chad: “With his purchase of the Los Angeles Galaxy, billionaire Philip Anschutz now owns three MLS teams, one-quarter of the league’s 12 franchises.

“Hmmm. Has Al Davis thought of this?”

*

Looking back: On this day in 1970, Tom Dempsey of the New Orleans Saints kicked an NFL-record 63-yard field goal against the Detroit Lions. The record was equaled by Jason Elam of the Denver Broncos on Oct. 25 against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

*

Trivia answer: LeRoy Irvin of the L.A. Rams, 207 yards against the Atlanta Falcons on Oct. 11, 1981.

*

And finally: Doug Flutie, whose Flutie Flakes breakfast cereal has grown in popularity in proportion to his success as a Buffalo Bill quarterback, is now the target of the New York Jets.

The teams play today and some Jets, such as linebacker Bryan Cox, aren’t ready to endorse Flutie Flakes.

“I don’t give a . . . what kind of flakes he’s got,” Cox told the New York Daily News. “It don’t mean a . . . to me, because I don’t eat them. I eat Frosted Flakes.”

Is Cox looking for his own endorsement deal?