COLLEGE BASKETBALL TOP 25

No. School (Record) Comment

1. Stanford (9-0) If world ends in three days, can Cardinal claim mythical title?

2. Connecticut (9-1) Was my No. 1 until managing editor, a Stanford grad, stopped by for a “chat.”

3. Cincinnati (10-1) Sunday’s bruising promotion vs. UNLV: Huggs vs. Thugs.

4. Florida (10-1) So much juice on roster, school had to hire team strainer.

5. Michigan State (9-3) Spartans can’t put foot down until Cleaves does.

6. Syracuse (8-0) Season so far a Boeheimian rhapsody.

7. Arizona (10-2) If five more guys leave, ‘Cats will have to enter NCAA “three-on-three” tournament.

8. Auburn (10-1) Tigers obviously set alarm for late December.

9. Duke (8-2) School confident it is Y2(Coach)K compliant.

10. Kansas (9-2) Exits ‘90s as best team that didn’t win a title.

11. Indiana (10-1) Quick start earns Knight his hunting license back.

12. Oklahoma State (10-0) Team challenges Oklahoma and Tulsa; winner gets state’s oil rights.

13. North Carolina (8-4) Return to four-corners offense not an option yet.

14. Temple (6-2) Game against Wisconsin could set offense back 100 years.

15. Tennessee (11-1) Vols think they have excellent shot at BCS bowl berth.

16. Ohio State (7-2) Games against Oakland and American this week won’t help team’s RPI.

17. Maryland (9-2) After 16 days off, you’d look rusty too against George Mason.

18. Utah (9-2) No plans for Woody Allen sequel, “Hanno (Mottola) and his blisters.”

19. Illinois (7-3) Lon’s up-and-down squad known as “team of a thousand faces.”

20. Wake Forest (8-1) Headline for Oregon game: “Can’t See Forest for the Trees”?

21. Oklahoma (9-1) School raises roof for arrival of Brad “Big Continent” Millard.

22. Kentucky (7-4) School cancels request for federal basketball disaster relief.

23. UCLA (7-2) School elects not to hang third-place Pearl Harbor banner in Pauley.

24. Xavier (8-2) It took five Musketeers to crack this poll.

25. LSU (11-0) Impressive start is nothing to shake a red stick at.