A Case of Size, Sense and Sensitivity

In one corner was Gary Coleman, 4 feet, 7 inches tall, 86 pounds, a security guard at a mall.

Gary once had his own TV show, like a lot of other L.A. people who now spend their time at a mall.

In the opposite corner: Tracy R. Fields, 5 feet, 6 inches tall, 205 pounds, a bus driver.

Gary and Tracy had gotten into a fight.

It happened July 30 at a store in Hawthorne. It finally came to trial this week in Inglewood.

Tracy feels “humiliated” by Gary.

“When I’m at work,” Tracy said, “people ridicule me. They say, ‘You let this person beat you up?’ ”

This was a reference to the big difference in their sizes.

It did not refer to the other little difference between Gary and Tracy--that being that Gary is a man.

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A man who hits a woman is 100% in the wrong. We men have this drummed into us from the time we are knee-high to an adult.

But this case begs a question:

What if it’s a big woman?

I mean, we’ve all heard of the old “pick on somebody your own size” argument. In this case, however, it’s the bigger person who feels picked on by the one who isn’t her size.

Suppose a woman 11 inches taller gets in my face, so I go upside her head? Am I automatically wrong?

I go a shade under 6 feet. I happen to live in constant fear of being attacked by Ringling Bros. circus attractions and former East German female athletes.

Would a 6-11, 350-pound woman feel humiliated if I socked her? Would the public accuse me of being a woman-beater rather than a person-beater, even if the person in question was bigger, heavier and could bounce me off the walls like Silly Putty?

I’ll never know. A man doesn’t hit a woman--period. Case closed.

To most people’s surprise, Gary Coleman closed his own case Thursday afternoon.

With a judge about to read jury instructions, Coleman suddenly and tearfully agreed to plead no contest to a charge of disturbing the peace, ending his misdemeanor battery trial but not the deeper question of conduct it raised.

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Tracy Fields was at a store called the California Uniform Shop on the day she recognized the security guard as cheeky little Arnold from the 1978-86 TV sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes.”

She asked for Coleman’s autograph. The two appear to agree that upon Gary giving her his signature, Tracy gave it back, wanting it personalized for her son. Gary got hot and tore it up.

Beyond that, their versions diff’red.

Fields claimed that Coleman grew angry and struck her, for no good reason. Coleman said he felt threatened by Fields.

Well, actually, what he said he felt was, “She looks like she wants to slap the taste out of my mouth.”

She would’ve had to bend to do it.

An eyewitness, off-duty LAX cop Emily Waters, testified that Coleman asked why Fields wanted an autograph, since he doesn’t act anymore. And that Fields suggested maybe that’s why he doesn’t act anymore, because of the way he was acting here. And that Coleman said that’s why he doesn’t act anymore, because of people like you, lady.

And then, the witness said, the 30-year-old Coleman “jumped up and socked her in the face.”

Oh, the old jump-up punch.

Different pokes for different folks.

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I appreciate that Gary Coleman’s life hasn’t always been a lot of laughs. He suffers from a congenital kidney disease, which he treats with self-dialysis. The illness is what stunted his height.

I also appreciate that a mall was willing to hire a 4-foot-7, 86-pound security guard.

It isn’t a typical security guard who says, as Gary did Thursday in court, that a large woman pressed her breasts within an inch of his face, causing him to feel so threatened, “I thought if I distract her with a blow, I can flee.

“So . . . I hit her.”

Personally, I have never felt so threatened by a woman’s breasts that I needed to flee, except for once at a Russ Meyer movie.

Then again, I’ve never fought a bus driver 11 inches taller than me.

Poor Gary. On Thursday he drew a year’s worth of probation, a $400 fine and an order to enroll in 52 anger-management sessions. The next thing you know, he’ll start getting asked for autographs by 6-foot people.

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Mike Downey’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write to him at Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles 90053. E-mail: mike.downey@latimes.com.