When Parents Lose Their Cool, Players Lose, Too

When I was in junior high school, my dad took me to minor-league hockey games. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and see a fight,” he’d say.

Despite parenting like that, I turned into a sweet, sweet guy.

My point is, maybe children can take the best from their parents and somehow filter out the rest.

Well, we can dream, can’t we?

With luck, maybe none of the 7- and 8-year-olds playing in last Saturday’s Mitey Mite division football game between the Mustangs and the Blue Bears in Mission Viejo will remember what they saw. Or, perhaps someone could tell them it was all a joke, that the adults who appeared to be fighting were just play-acting, sort of like “Life Is Beautiful” on a peewee gridiron.

“See those grown-ups, pretending to be fighting? Aren’t they funny?”

The problem with that scenario is that the fracas in the stands--which then spilled over onto the sidelines--ended the game with 54 seconds left.

To the kids, it was all too real.

Those who were there said the skirmish was limited to a few punches. Both coaches decried it and said either they or the boys’ parents would try to explain to their players why adults sometimes act like that.

I’d love to hear that explanation. I’d love to hear how you can go to a kiddie football game and get into a fight. A Bears-Packers game at Soldier Field in Chicago when it’s 15 degrees, yes. But a Mitey Mite game?

I’m not trying to insult my own intelligence. I know it happens; I just wonder how it happens.

Maybe, everything simply flowed from the momentous impact of the game. After all, the Trabuco Hills Mustangs came in at 7-0-1 and the Saddleback Valley Blue Bears a daunting 7-1, no doubt leading some parents to wonder whether the two squads represented the greatest kid teams of all time.

Imagine the devastating consequences of losing the game! Let’s face it, some adults just don’t bounce back from losing a game of that magnitude.

Even though the league says it plays down overzealous competition at the Mitey Mite level, some people haven’t gotten the message. My guess would be the mini-melee had something to do with the 31-0 score at the time.

Did someone think the score was getting out of hand? Did someone think one team (Hello, Mustangs?) wasn’t taking the game seriously enough? After all, these are 7-year-olds out there!

Obviously, any of those situations would justify sending an otherwise sane adult into a frenzy. To brush off any of them as just a minor vexation would be to surrender one’s sense of honor.

Better to let the youngsters know that Pop Warner football is worth fighting over than turn the other cheek to a real or imagined slight.

At least, that’s the message some of the youngsters will file away. They’ll see a game-ending fistfight as a means of settling disputes. Rather than seeing sport as a wonderful source of learning teamwork, confidence and sacrifice--and, yes, how to win and lose graciously in competition--some will remember the fight.

The two coaches said the right things afterward. One of them referred to the incident as “insanity” and the other a “horrible display.”

I hooked up with Mustang Coach Rick Pizzuti on Thursday and, so far, he says, there’s been no lasting negative impact on his team.

For 7-year-olds, perhaps, life is beautiful.

As for adults? Pizzuti has coached boys and girls sports for five years and annually, he says, the biggest challenge is getting parents on the same page.

Turns out it’s the parents who are the real mites, the ones who need coaching.

On the bright side, is it too much to hope that what happened Saturday is merely a clever marketing strategy dreamed up by the league to build attendance?

“Hey, honey, want to take in a Mitey Mite game this week? You never know, we might get lucky and see a fight in the stands.”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com