At Least Pippen Gave Rockets the Three-Pouter

Fran Blinebury of the Houston Chronicle commenting on the Rockets’ trade of Scottie Pippen to the Portland Trail Blazers:

“Pippen came to Houston to prove he could stand without [Michael] Jordan. And now he is slithering out like a 6-7 worm, pointing fingers at Charles Barkley, the only member of the Rockets’ organization who rushed to his defense during an unfulfilling season.

“For $14 million last season, the Rockets got themselves a player, who averaged 14.5 points, shot 43.2% from the field and led the NBA in pouts.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NCAA Division I-A record for most punts blocked in a football game? Get this one and you are a qualified trivia expert.

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Holding pattern: Joe Posnanski of the Kansas City Star on the Chiefs getting 13 holding penalties Sunday in a 21-14 loss to San Diego:

“The Flying Wallendas didn’t hold each other that much. There are couples celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries who have not had that much snuggle time. The guy who invented the Heimlich maneuver. . . . OK, the point is that’s a lot of holding penalties.”

And this from Chief Coach Gunther Cunningham: “I’m going to watch some film now. After that, who knows what I might say. Can you lend me $10,000?”

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A real find: St. Louis Ram defensive tackle D’Marco Farr on unheralded but effective quarterback Kurt Warner: “[Warner] is Larry Bird. He has the Larry Bird look. We lost Trent [Green] and they told him, ‘You’re our guy for the season’ and there was no batting of an eye. Nothing but calm.”

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A real stinker: Bill Lyon of the Philadelphia Inquirer, commenting on Sunday’s Eagle-New York Giant game: “Inept played Hapless. Both sides owe everyone a refund and an apology.

“It was ugly and did a grievous disservice to the proud game of football. Inept (New York) won, by the way, 16-15. But it wasn’t nearly as riveting as the score suggests. If you spent an afternoon cleaning out your septic tank, you had more fun.”

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Fair warning: The 2003 Ryder Cup is scheduled for the Detroit area.

“If [the Europeans] think Boston was tough,” writes Ron Rapoport of the Chicago Sun-Times, “wait till they see the auto workers we’re going to ship in.”

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Trivia answer: Ken Irvin of Memphis State, four, against Arkansas on Sept. 26, 1992.

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And finally: Art Spander of the Oakland Tribune on emotional Raider Coach Jon Gruden:

“Gruden’s expressions on the sideline at times make him appear the mad scientist just about to flip the switch on Frankenstein’s monster and at other times like the guy in the bitter beer commercial.

“ ‘I try not to worry too much about my demeanor down there,’ Gruden said. ‘I’ve had my mom tell me some things about how I look. But I tell you, when you’re trying to compete, got 12 to 13 seconds to make a call, get the right people in the game, communicate with your coaches and it’s loud as all get out, there will be some peaks and valleys emotionally.’ ”