Ban on Smoking Is Just a State of Mind

A colleague landing at LAX heard the flight attendant announce, “We’d like to remind you that California is a nonsmoking state. Please refrain from smoking until you’ve left the state of California.”

The attendant quickly corrected herself to say that passengers only had to refrain from smoking until they had left the terminal. But judging from the laughter and applause, the passengers seemed to like her first idea better.

LETTING THE CAT OUT OF THE BOX: Getting permission from the court to have two cats appear in a trial was the easy part for a trio of Laguna Beach attorneys. The difficult part was finding a place for the feline residents of Corona to stay the night before. The trial was in U.S. District Court in L.A.

“We couldn’t find a hotel that would take them,” said attorney William Levin.

“We had to sneak them into a hotel room,” disclosed attorney Amanda Dwight.

Owner Mariel Benefiel successfully carried Spitfire and Batty into the Bonaventure Hotel in boxes covered by some clothes. Fortunately, the animals behaved in the hotel--and in court the next day.

They were summoned to prove that they had been implanted with Trovan electronic identification chips. Trovan was suing Pfizer Inc. for trademark infringement because Pfizer had named one of its antibiotics Trovan. Benefiel testified she was confused over the duplication of names--and worried by the FDA warning about the antibiotic.

The chip maker won the suit--and an award of $143 million.

Good job, Spitfire and Batty.

“It was really something different,” said attorney Donald Abrams of the cats’ appearance. “Something you’d expect to see on an ‘Ally McBeal’ episode.”

POINTED WARNING?: There’s a shop in Newport Beach displaying a sign that, if read the wrong way, seems to offer a painful invitation (see photo).

MORE NEEDLING: Rosie Rosenlof sent along two snapshots that appear to show his and hers acupuncture businesses. They’re both showing the same shop, whose sign originally said “Acupuncture Herb.”

ANNALS OF WEIRD CRIME: Some entries in the Los Alamitos News-Enterprises’ most recent police log:

* Cypress, Oct. 9, Orange Avenue, 10:21 p.m.: A woman “heard screaming and yelling” by a father and two children, who actually were “playing an exciting game of Nintendo.”

* La Palma, Oct. 16, Kathy Drive, 10:12 a.m.: A resident reported “smelling gas,” which turned out to be “strong garlic.”

* La Palma, Oct. 11, Pineridge Drive, 6:45 p.m.: “A man sitting in the back of a white car for 30 minutes” was feared sick but “was just praying.”

ALAS, IT’S A MINORITY VIEW IN L.A.: Driving through Beverly Hills, Jonathan Ramsden said he spotted a vanity plate “that for once I can wholeheartedly agree with.” It said: PLZ SGNL.

CUT! Michael Zweibel noticed a sign at a Santa Monica market that said “1/4’ trim on all meat.” He pointed out to a worker that the sign was incorrect. The worker didn’t understand. Zweibel said that obviously the market wasn’t trimming a quarter-foot of fat off the meat.

Weeks later, he returned. The sign had been changed. It said: “1/4 trim on all meat.”

miscelLAny:

My 6-year-old son Jamie said at the breakfast table: “I sure hope there’s no earthquake this Saturday.” I was starting to congratulate him for his compassion when he added, “Because then the news will be on [television] and I’ll miss Pokemon [cartoons] again.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at 1-800-LATIMES Ext. 77083, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com