PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Wanted: An opponent who isn’t a schmo. After flaming out in Week One, your swami has torched the competition, sending the ink-stained rabble into a desperate search for a Prophet conqueror. Good luck. The challenger this week, Dave Desmond, covers girls’ basketball and Golden League football. That means two things--he thinks a dunk is something you do with a doughnut and a pass is what you hand the doorman to get into bingo night. Dave gained most of his football knowledge while attending Highland Hall, a school that does not field a football team. But I understand he has a fine trading-card collection.

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Crescenta Valley vs. Muir at Glendale High

THE PROPHET SAYS: Dave is picking Crescenta Valley, a kiss of death if I ever saw one. Anyway, the Falcons have used up their quota of one victory over Muir per century. Muir, 27-21.

DESMOND SAYS: Muir has lost to Crescenta Valley once in 21 years, and it came in 1997, when the Mustangs had a Sultan (McCullough) in their backfield. This year, they have a Prophet in their corner. Coincidence? I think not. I’ll take quarterback Scott Vossmeyer and his behemoth linemen. Crescenta Valley, 28-26.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Thousand Oaks at Westlake

THE PROPHET SAYS: It was fun while it lasted, but Thousand Oaks’ four-game winning streak comes to a grinding halt at the hands of the high-flying Warriors and the Zac Attack. Westlake, 35-17.

DESMOND SAYS: I’ve seen each team once: Thousand Oaks when it lost, 35-21, to Crescenta Valley, and Westlake last week on television when it pushed around Newbury Park, 35-14. Gimme Westlake, 35-10.

Taft at Granada Hills

THE PROPHET SAYS: To most, I’m known as The Prophet, All-Knowing Supreme Being. But in Woodland Hills, I’m known as Loser Boy, Taft’s personal tool of torture. My record in Taft games slipped to 1-3 last week, but I’m not jumping out of a window. I’m jumping on the bandwagon! Taft, 24-21.

DESMOND SAYS: Tough choice. Both teams sneaked past Kennedy, so no edge there. Swami-slayer Charlotte Stein has not returned calls, so no sage advice is forthcoming. I grew up idolizing quarterback Dana Potter, which will serve as the tiebreaker. Granada Hills, 17-14.

Littlerock at Highland

THE PROPHET SAYS: Coach Lin Parker of Highland, a good sport, wore a raincoat and stood under an umbrella for a tongue-in-cheek photo last week. That’s good enough for me. Highland, 14-10.

DESMOND SAYS: Any team that routinely uses its quarterback as a lead blocker, which Littlerock does with its power pitch offense, gets my respect. We’re talking tough. Highland is underrated but doesn’t have enough to match the Lobos. Littlerock, 18-10.

THE REST (1 point each)

* San Fernando at Reseda: The Prophet: What in the Hoohuli is going on at San Fernando? Tigers move to 7-0 after thrashing Regents. San Fernando, 32-14. Desmond: San Fernando, 38-7.

* Ventura at Dos Pueblos: The Prophet: Ventura has won two consecutive one-point games, a sign it can win the close ones. Ventura, 21-17. Desmond: Dos Pueblos, 19-17.

* Moorpark at Newbury Park: The Prophet: This is no walk in the Park for either team, but the Musketeers are coming on strong. Moorpark, 27-21. Desmond: Newbury Park, 24-20.

* Canyon vs. Saugus at College of the Canyons: The Prophet: Despite the debacle last week against Hart, David Parker is still a good quarterback. Saugus, 35-7. Desmond: Saugus, 57-3.

* Camarillo at Oxnard: The Prophet: The Scorpions, looking like Pacific View contenders, appear to be solving their defensive problems. Camarillo, 28-21. Desmond: Camarillo, 33-30.

* Santa Paula at Nordhoff: The Prophet: Hoppy Mumford and the Cardinals invade Ojai, but the Rangers hold the fort. Nordhoff, 24-21. Desmond: Santa Paula, 20-10.

* Santa Margarita at Alemany: The Prophet: Alemany is singing the Division I blues after losing to Servite. Now here comes another Orange County nuisance. Santa Margarita, 28-24. Desmond: Santa Margarita, 27-20.

* Montclair Prep vs. Paraclete at Antelope Valley College: The Prophet: Time for Paraclete to begin its late-season drive for another division title. Paraclete, 31-21. Desmond: Paraclete, 28-27.

* Kennedy at Monroe: The Prophet: Kennedy, after three consecutive losses, gets back on track against the Vikings, still reeling from the Sylmar pasting. Kennedy, 28-21. Desmond: Kennedy, 24-14.

* Chatsworth at Cleveland: The Prophet: After a rough start, the Chancellors are beginning to fulfill their preseason promise. Chatsworth, 32-21. Desmond: Chatsworth, 37-12.

* Chaminade at Harvard-Westlake: The Prophet: Hard to know how good Chaminade is--the Eagles haven’t played anyone. Harvard-Westlake, 28-14. Desmond: Harvard-Westlake, 41-13.