Tyson and Rose Keep Missing the Same Boat

The high points, low points and ticklish talking points of the weekend that was:

Mike Tyson and Pete Rose, our two greatest and most unrepentant sporting rogues, jumped back into view this weekend, I’m sure you noticed.

These are not easy characters to obscure or hide away, though many have tried and are still trying.

Tyson, who has been both jailed and suspended, had another controversial fight, and accusations followed.

Rose, who also has been jailed and banned, was voted onto baseball’s all-century team, and the commissioner decided to look the other way and let Rose participate in the on-field ceremony Sunday night.

And when he was announced, everything stopped. There’s so much happening right now, everything seems to be happening at once, one Brian Hunter error fades into Shaquille O’Neal at the free-throw line and Steve Young on the sideline, which dissolves to David Cone on the mound in the cold.

But, as the millennial lists count down, it’s obvious: American sports are defined by show-stopping American personalities. Out-sized, outrageous and often outlawed personalities.

Muhammad Ali, Wilt Chamberlain and Babe Ruth all had their uncomfortable sides. But they survived the times with their glory in tact, and have only grown greater as years have passed.

Tyson and Rose are the reverse side. How can you celebrate their achievements without celebrating their sins? Can you follow them and feel clean?

Tyson raped someone, has gone to prison twice, and has come out a shell of the fighter he was. But he is still a big enough figure in boxing that his fights are major events.

Rose gambled, and was banned for life from the sport he obviously cherishes and from which, no matter any commissioner’s ban, he cannot be separated.

The rest, for them and for us, is a ghost celebritydom--they are not always welcome, but they are drawn back to the stage, by their fame, their egos and our uncertainty whether to pity them, forgive them or dismiss them entirely.

THE BIG PICTURE

As a boxer these days, Mike Tyson is for suckers.

You watch one of his shows and you know you aren’t there for fistic artistry, you’re there to see the latest crime and punishment.

It’s not his fault, anymore, really, because he has gone above and beyond to prove to the world that he can be counted on to produce more chaos, cash and frustration, pound for pound, than any athlete this century.

He chewed off part of Evander Holyfield’s ear to show us this.

No, by now, events such as Saturday’s no-contest nonsense (I no longer allow myself to call Tyson shows “fights”) with Orlin Norris are only reminders of how far gone Tyson is as a fighter, how used up, and how sad it is to expect anything more.

I watched Tyson’s obvious, stupid foul against Norris, and, like most others, I wondered if Orlin maybe didn’t exaggerate the knee injury to get an easy judgment (though the two-point penalty Tyson was assessed meant Norris had a good chance of winning if it went to a decision).

But to listen to the Showtime announcers--who, after all, were there for Tyson’s Holyfield circus, who, come on!, until recently were a major arm of the Don King operation--scurry to Tyson’s defense Saturday and make Norris the issue and not Tyson’s post-bell left hook, well, that’s enabling at the highest level.

Too bad this wasn’t a pay-per-view show, because as a veteran boxing accident witness, I sort of missed that sharp mingling of disgust and wasted money only a Tyson PPV show can produce.

WEEKEND TALKING POINTS

1. Bobby Knight hunting escapades: Fired a couple of shots into the back of a friend, who obviously was not in the proper stance and didn’t display the right intensity. Always keep your eye on the shooter!

2. Cold Series, Games 1 and 2: 30-degree temperature and potential frostbite for the biggest games of the season. How about a couple more wild-card rounds, a few more commercial breaks, and combine the World Series with the Winter Olympics?

3. Ferdie Pacheco: “The Fight Doctor” isn’t much more than a Tyson hack these days, pleading Tyson’s case on-air to Nevada commission.

4. Tiger Woods’ laser-eye surgery: Sharpens vision, then wins his sixth tournament this year. My eyes are fine. So when can I get laser-backswing surgery?

5. The all-century ceremony: Sometimes, even baseball can’t get it wrong. Willie Mays and Ken Griffey Jr. helping Ted Williams walk to his spot on the podium . . . riveting.

6. NBC’s Jim Gray: Amazingly made Pete Rose look sympathetic during ill-timed, tired did-you-gamble grilling right after all-century ceremony. This was supposed to be about baseball, not Dowd Report.

7. Bill Stoneman, almost-Angel GM: Commendable foresight. Skips inevitable years of Angel frustrations, apparently resigns/gets fired from Disney before he’s hired.

8. Bobby Bonilla and Rickey Henderson: Getting heat for giving up on teammates by playing cards in clubhouse at end of epic Game 6 vs. Braves. It’s excusable, though--they didn’t start until Bobby Valentine put Kenny Rogers into game.

9. Deion Sanders: Even post-concussion, by himself is more interesting than half of teams in NFL. Probably could outscore them too, just by returning punts.

10. Charles Barkley announces he’ll retire at end of season: Already counting down toward that Barkley comeback. Former teammate Danny Ainge laughs, “He retires every year.” Only since 1990.

LEADING QUESTIONS

OK, is it possible to find silver linings for USC and UCLA this football season?

Can you excuse UCLA and Coach Bob Toledo for two of the worst back-to-back games in recent memory because DeShaun Foster’s injury has made him a non-factor and because Corey Paus shouldn’t be asked to carry an offense alone?

Is it stretching things to compare this season to Cade McNown’s sophomore year, when the Bruins went 5-6, took some awful beatings, then started the momentum rolling by finishing the season with a 48-41 victory over USC?

Can you excuse USC and Coach Paul Hackett for two of the most wrenching losses in recent memory because Carson Palmer, if injury-free, surely would’ve made some key plays in both games down the stretch and because Notre Dame and Stanford actually are quality teams?

Is it stretching things to say this season could remind you a little of 1990, when the Trojans were knocked out of the Rose Bowl chase early, but saw a talented sophomore quarterback--Todd Marinovich--lead them to a 45-42 victory over UCLA, which happens to be the last time the Trojans beat the Bruins?