PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Trick or treat, kiss my feet, Swami wins another week. Welcome, kiddies, to a special Halloween presentation of “The Great Pumpkinhead: A Journalist’s Tale.” With a four-week winning streak, yours truly has left in his wake a trail of broken newsmen reduced to crying for their mommies. Fortunately for these luckless souls, one has responded. Answering the call is housewife/sports writer Paige Leech, who spends most of her time powdering the chubby heels of 1-year-old daughter A.J., who, as far as I can tell, does not own a pair of proper shoes. Paige has prepared for her big challenge by eating fistfuls of candy corn, a few kernels of which got stuck in her hair (see photo). Poor thing. Candy is dandy, but after Paige gets toasted by The Prophet, look for her to start hitting the hard stuff . . . again.

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THE PROPHET: Season totals for The Prophet: 71 of 104 (68%); 124 points

PAIGE A. LEECH: Season totals for the guests: 70 of 104 (67%); 116 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Valencia vs. Hart at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: Hart’s reign of terror in the Foothill League has poured down on rivals for 40 games and 40 nights. Enough is enough. Look for Valencia defenders to file two by two into the Hart backfield to settle the Matter. Valencia, 28-24.

LEECH SAYS: Having learned recently that The Prophet doesn’t know how to surf the Internet or how to operate a microwave oven, I realize why his prognostications are uninformed and half-baked. Clue in: Hart has won 40 consecutive league games! Hart, 28-22.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Alemany vs. Loyola at Glendale High

THE PROPHET SAYS: Think Alemany remembers its 60-20 drubbing at the hands of Loyola last season? I do. Great Scott and Mighty Casey are gearing up to inflict a little payback in this Del Rey League opener. Alemany, 27-14.

LEECH SAYS: Around the office water cooler, The Prophet is known as The Pathetic. So is Loyola’s anemic offense. While the Cubs’ traditionally strong defense might slow the Casey Clausen/De’Andre Scott Show, it won’t be enough to sneak away with a victory. Alemany, 28-13.

Sylmar at Kennedy

THE PROPHET SAYS: Paige has been drooling on her Sylmar pillow all week, dreaming of the Spartans extending their state-record league winning streak to 70 games. Who am I to ruin her fantasy? Sylmar, 32-25.

LEECH SAYS: My colleagues think I own a Sylmar cheerleader’s outfit. I don’t. But I must say my 1-year-old daughter is getting really good at leading the Spartan spell-out. Sylmar, 42-20.

Reseda at Monroe

THE PROPHET SAYS: After lopsided losses to Sylmar and Kennedy, Monroe gets back on track against Reseda, which was force-fed a dose a reality last week by San Fernando. Monroe, 33-27.

LEECH SAYS: Reseda finally hit the tough part of its schedule last week, losing to San Fernando, 31-14. With games against Sylmar and Kennedy in Weeks 9 and 10, this is a must-win game for the Regents to be assured of a playoff spot. Yikes! Reseda, 20-19.

THE REST (1 point each)

* Pasadena at Glendale: The Prophet: How can I pick Pasadena, a team that beat downtrodden Hoover by only two points? Answer: Because the Bulldogs are playing Glendale. Pasadena, 16-14. Leech: Glendale, 17-7.

* Westlake at Moorpark: The Prophet: Moorpark let me down last week with a disappointing effort against Newbury Park. Now comes the punishment. Westlake, 35-7. Leech: Westlake, 42-10.

* Antelope Valley at Littlerock: The Prophet: Antelope Valley is coming on. Littlerock is fading. You figure it out. Antelope Valley, 28-14. Leech: Antelope Valley, 28-14.

* Burroughs at Canyon: The Prophet: Canyon gave Saugus all it could handle last week. The Cowboys do that and more against the reeling Indians. Canyon, 28-17. Leech: Canyon, 21-20.

* Channel Islands at Hueneme: The Prophet: This should be a knock-down, drag-out between cross-town rivals. The (Pacific) View from here says Vikings by a safety. Hueneme, 22-20. Leech: Hueneme, 35-10.

* Notre Dame at Chaminade: The Prophet: Chaminade has a five-game winning streak, all against cupcakes. Here comes the full-course meal. Notre Dame, 31-14. Leech: Notre Dame, 40-6.

* Harvard-Westlake at Bishop Montgomery: The Prophet: Things have gotten so bad for Harvard-Westlake, the coaches are considering playing a freshman at QB. What’s next, junior high players? Bishop Montgomery, 27-21. Leech: Harvard-Westlake, 28-14.

* Calabasas at Santa Paula: The Prophet: Calabasas has found its stride in Frontier League play. Unfortunately for the Coyotes, Santa Paula sticks a leg out. Santa Paula, 26-19. Leech: Calabasas, 21-7.

* Camarillo at San Marcos: The Prophet: Camarillo leaves the sanctity of the soft Pacific View League and encounters some hard knocks in Santa Barbara. San Marcos, 28-17. Leech: San Marcos, 24-20.

* Verdugo Hills at North Hollywood: The Prophet: Verdugo Hills has a tough defense, but North Hollywood has Matthew Hicks and his 7.9-yard-per-carry average. North Hollywood, 28-21. Leech: North Hollywood, 28-13.

* El Camino Real at Cleveland: The Prophet: El Camino Real is Paige’s neighborhood school. She should consider moving after this one. Cleveland, 30-24. Leech: El Camino Real, 34-28.