Faded Trees Await Lakers’ Glory

I’m worried about the ficus trees on the south lawn of City Hall. Not that they look unhealthy or unkempt. But their numbers have faded.

And just when it seems likely that the Los Angeles Lakers will win the NBA title this year.

What’s the connection?

Several years ago, the trees were numbered 1 through 32 to aid supervision of the overflow crowds for the ceremonies honoring championship L.A. teams. Inevitably, some fans would climb the trees.

As a city worker once explained it to me: “When somebody falls out and breaks an arm or a leg, the spotters will be able to say, ‘Go to tree so-and-so and rescue someone.’ ”

But no L.A. team has won a title in more than a decade and these days it’s tough to tell the trees without a scorecard. For example, No. 20, vibrant in its prime (see photo), is now barely visible.

I contacted the Department of General Services, where an official told me that, because of the retrofitting of City Hall, it wasn’t certain that a championship ceremony would be held on the lawn. So nobody’s bringing out a paintbrush yet.

Oh well. Guess we should first wait and make sure the Lakers put up the right numbers on the scoreboard.

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NO HARM IN ASKING: Among the personal ads in a seniors’ publication was one from a real positive thinker (see accompanying).

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THE OTHER KIND OF BONDS: After it was noted here that the makers of the yet-to-be released movie “Orange County” had to go to Hollywood to shoot a scene in a bondage club, a member of the leather community wrote:

“The reason they couldn’t film in . . . Orange County is simple--there are no commercial bondage houses in Orange County. There are a number of private ones, but with the attitude of local law enforcement, the few attempts to open one have been forestalled.”

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TARNISHING THE GOLD COAST: As you’ve probably guessed, “Orange County” does not promise to be a celebration of the good life. The plot revolves around a spoiled, Prozac-popping rich girl whose boyfriend disappears after a drug deal gone bad.

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DISCOVERING COLUMBUS: After this column noted the sign on the Westside that declares I-10 to be the Christopher Columbus Transcontinental Highway, I heard from Jerry Feldner of Tempe, Ariz.

“Have you ever seen such a sign other than that one?” he asked. “Here in Arizona, it is called the Pearl Harbor Memorial Highway. My wife and I drove I-10 from Phoenix to Florida and never found another sign declaring it the Christopher Columbus anything. . . .”

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FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK: Feldner may not have made it all the way to the East Coast or, if he did, may have given up the quest prematurely.

Because Clancy Imislund phoned to say, “I saw that same [Columbus Highway] sign, just in from the ocean, in Jacksonville, Fla., when I drove there recently.”

Added Imislund, “But I’ve never seen any other between those two end signs.”

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DUELING PHILOSOPHIES: John Horn noted that the magazine This Month in Santa Barbara County is published not monthly, but quarterly. Then again, I think that even Santa Barbarans would generally agree that time seems to move more slowly up their way.

miscelLAny:

“I took my 11-year-old son to a Clippers game the other night where they gave away free Beanie Babies,” reported one reader. “Typical Clipper Beanie Baby. It fell apart in the fourth quarter.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.