It’s the Young and the Heisman

Now that the Heisman Trophy Presentation show (Presented by Wendy’s) has become traditional holiday feel-good family fare, tugging more heartstrings than “It’s a Wonderful Life,” it is time to gather ‘round the hearth, stoke the fire with the year-end BCS rankings and remember two tips to heighten one’s viewing experience for Decembers to come:

1. Don’t tune in too late.

2. Don’t tune in too early.

Late arrivals to Saturday’s show may have missed the visuals and introduction preceding the appearance of Jay Berwanger, the winner of the inaugural Heisman in 1935, now in his late 80s. That was crucial information. Without it, a person just clicking over to ESPN risked being shocked and knocked back into his easy chair.

Whoa, maybe Weinke IS too old to win the Heisman.

But, no, as graphics later helpfully discerned, Chris Weinke was the old man in the front row, seated next to someone who was either his first-born son or, as graphics later helpfully discerned, Oklahoma quarterback Josh Heupel.

Heupel or Weinke? Weinke or Heupel? That is what everybody tuned it to see: Who was going to win what had been billed as the closest Heisman Trophy election in years, the (nudge, wink) Heisman Race for the Ages?

Would it be Heupel, the industrious improv artist who directed Oklahoma to a surprising 12-0 record this season?

Or would it be Weinke, the 28-year-old crusty veteran who interrupted his college football career for a six-year failed fling with professional baseball and returned to lead Florida State to three consecutive bowl championship series title games?

Sooner?

Or Later?

Before we found out, however, we had to sit through 50 minutes of platitudes and softball interviews with Heupel and Weinke . . . plus two more finalists, Purdue quarterback Drew Brees and Texas Christian running back LaDainian Tomlinson . . . plus the men who coached Heupel, Brees and Tomlinson . . . plus the women who mothered Heupel and Tomlinson . . . plus Joe Bellino, the Navy halfback who was celebrating the 40th anniversary of his Heisman victory . . . plus Archie Griffin, the Ohio State running back who was celebrating his 25th Heisman anniversary, or his 26th, or both.

Along the way, we were reminded that our four finalists were not only outstanding football players but also fine young men who played out their senior seasons and are on track to graduate--Weinke on the new-look 10-year program--and, shades of NBC at Sydney, had to overcome great personal adversity to get to where they are today, overcoming a long hour spent under the hot lights in a New York old-boys club with Lee Corso.

We already knew about Weinke’s ill-fated minor-league baseball career but also heard about his 1998 neck injury and “near paralysis,” as host Chris Fowler worded it. Somewhat surprisingly, however, we did not hear anything about the Heisman winner’s tough years as a roadie for Jimi Hendrix and as a campaign volunteer for Barry Goldwater.

We were told of Tomlinson’s difficult senior year in high school, spent 100 miles away from his mother, who had to relocate because of a job.

We learned of Heupel’s failed first stint at Weber State and of Brees being an “unimposing, unremarkable recruit” unwanted by just about everyone except downtrodden Purdue.

Actually, what was most unimposing and unremarkable about the hour were the interviews with the finalists, devoted to each player saying the right things and thanking the right people and saying he couldn’t have done it without the help of his coaches, his running backs, his receivers, the “big uglies” who run-block and pass-protect up front. Am I forgetting anybody? Oh, right--the defense. Without them, each of the finalists would have spent their senior seasons in perpetually bad field position. And, come to think of it, game time spent perpetually on the field.

The one bit of new information gleaned from these uncomfortable just-get-me-to-the-

commercial exchanges: Brees, probable first-round NFL draft choice, has never beaten his mother in tennis. Brees laughed, his mom laughed, and we can all thank heaven Dick Ebersol wasn’t producing. There’d have been lilting orchestral music, a soft-focus close-up of Mrs. Brees at 40-love, a slow-motion shot of a drop of sweat falling from Drew’s furrowed brow, and somber, dramatic narration: Yet one more hardship for this resilient young champion.

Thank Jamar Fletcher too, for his refreshingly honest reaction to winning the Jim Thorpe Award two nights earlier. “I wanted the award, I thought I deserved it, I’m glad I won it,” said a beaming Fletcher, a Wisconsin defensive back.

Fletcher was part of ESPN’s Thursday night Heisman undercard, a two-hour roundup of some of the myriad college football awards that seem to pop up, like new USC coaches, every few years.

Since Weinke first enrolled at Florida State, in 1990, the Heisman has been joined by the Doak Walker Award (given to the nation’s top running back) in 1990, the Lou Groza Award (best kicker) in 1992, the Bronko Nagurski Award (outstanding defensive player) in 1993, the Fred Biletnikoff Award (best receiver) in 1994, the Chuck Bednarik Trophy (best defensive player) in 1995, the Mosi Tatupu Award (best special teams player) in 1997, and the John Mackey Award (best tight end) and the Ray Guy Award (best punter), which both debuted in 2000.

(The inaugural Guy Award went to Wisconsin’s Kevin Stemke, who punted well and often this season, which helps explain why Purdue is going to the Rose Bowl. The 2000 Groza Award went to Cincinnati’s Jonathan Ruffin, who wears a dance slipper on his kicking foot, which prompted Fowler, sensing the testosterone rumbling throughout the room, to ask, “What’s that about?” The slipper simply helps him kick better, Ruffin explained, and for further research, the room was advised to study a game film called “Billy Elliot.”)

College football, which likes to celebrate itself almost as much as baseball, has so many annual awards you need a depth chart for some positions. There are three awards for outstanding player (Heisman, Maxwell, Walter Camp), two for outstanding quarterback (Davey O’Brien, Johnny Unitas), two for outstanding defensive player (Bednarik, Nagurski), and two for outstanding lineman (Outland, Lombardi).

And coming, no doubt, to a podium near you: the Trey Junkin Trophy, because the most successful long snapper in the country needs something too, and the Koy Detmer Award, because somebody has to hold the ball for the guy who wins the Groza Award.