This Is a Slippery Argument, Even for a Raider

Mark Purdy of the San Jose Mercury News, commenting on the Oakland Raiders’ Regan Upshaw spitting in the face of Pittsburgh Steeler punter Josh Miller and being fined one week’s salary, or $29,412:

“Yet, after the fine was announced, Upshaw spoke about the situation as if there should be a sliding scale for spitting fines, based on liquidity and density.

“ ‘It wasn’t even a loogie. It was just some spray. . . . I don’t understand--$30,000 for spitting on somebody.’

“Did the guy expect to earn a saliva bonus instead? Perhaps that will happen in the XFL. But I’m guessing not.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most kickoff returns in a game?

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The old man: David Whitley in the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel:

“We finally have a Heisman winner who actually played for John Heisman. There. That is absolutely, positively the last old-age joke Chris Weinke should be the butt of.

“ ‘I’ve heard them all,’ he said.”

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Hazardous move: Dan LeBatard in the Miami Herald, suggesting that Miami Coach Butch Davis should spurn any pro offer and remain a college coach:

“The day of Don Shula and George Halas is as dead as Vince Lombardi. No NFL head coach has been in his current job so much as a decade.

“You sign an NFL coaching contract, and all you’ve guaranteed yourself beyond money is that you’ll soon be fired--with diminished mental health thrown in as a reachable incentive clause.”

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Must be true, then: Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News:

“When I’m not hearing Indiana University for Rick Pitino, I’m hearing UCLA. He can’t just go anywhere, the guy is an icon, after all.

“I read it in one of his books.”

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More Lupica: “Daniel Snyder was only considering Pepper Rodgers to come back and coach the Redskins because he couldn’t find Ara Parseghian’s phone number.”

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Sensible: Ervin Johnson of the Milwaukee Bucks, after his teammates had received three days of trashing from Coach George Karl:

“Guys have to clear their minds and understand it’s a job. That’s what they pay us millions of dollars for. If you work 9 to 5 and are not doing the job, you get fired. That’s the way I look at it.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1931, USC defeated Georgia at the Coliseum, 60-0.

The Trojans then went on to beat Tulane in the Rose Bowl game, 21-12, and win the national championship.

Looking back again: On this day in 1942, UCLA defeated USC, 14-7.

The victory was the Bruins’ first over USC and sent them to the Rose Bowl.

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Trivia answer: Desmond Howard, 10 for the Oakland Raiders against the Seattle Seahawks on Oct. 26, 1997.

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And finally: Ten years ago, former NHL star Phil Esposito persuaded the league to give an expansion franchise to Tampa Bay.

Unfortunately, the Lightning was woefully underfunded, so Esposito went to Japan to talk to potential investors.

“The more we drank, the more it made sense,” he said. “I said ‘hockey.’ They thought I said ‘sake.’ ”