Next for This Driver, an Act of Conscience

He or she is out there somewhere, and you wonder if his or her conscience has spoken.

You wonder how life has gone for them since 6 p.m. Jan. 18, when their small Ford pickup ran into a 65-year-old woman out for a walk on a Tuesday night in Laguna Beach, killing her.

You wonder how their life has gone, because whoever hit the woman in the crosswalk didn’t bother to stop.

You wonder if they’ve given much thought to the life they took. You wonder if they think about it every waking moment and, who knows, maybe even cry themselves to sleep every night.

Or, have they chalked it up as “just one of those things”?

Oh, there’s no way they couldn’t have known what they did. No way the thump wouldn’t have registered, even in the dark that night. Investigators say the vehicle made a last-second swerving motion as if the driver realized too late what was about to happen.

And so you wonder how they do it.

Have they gotten up and gone to work every day since? Or school? As they sit around the dinner table, do they think about it? When they’re at the grocery store or the movies or merely whiling away the time, do their thoughts drift back to the moment?

Can they forget it happened? Or, rationalize that it was an accident and why should they throw away their life by surrendering to police? Was there a period afterward when they came close to walking into the police station?

After all, they must have reasoned, it’s not as if they intended to hurt anyone. Surely, they thought, other people have done worse things and gotten away with it. What would be gained by coming forward, considering that the woman died and it’s not as though a real killer is on the loose?

Leaving the Scene and Not Knowing

Maybe that’s enough analysis to get them through the day.

Hit-and-run fatalities are among the most bothersome to investigators.

“How could you leave the scene of an accident, not knowing if you hurt or killed somebody?” asks Officer Bruce Lian of the California Highway Patrol.

Lian says he doesn’t have statistics at his disposal but notes that, in one form or another, the CHP deals with hit-and-run cases every day. Sometimes, it’s just a parked car that’s hit. Sometimes, the fleeing driver might take a moment to assess the damage before taking off.

But more often than you’d think, Lian says, they just bolt without knowing what damage they’ve left behind.

Obviously, a large part of the motivation might be self-preservation. Even if they weren’t already driving illegally for whatever reason, they’re probably at fault in the accident. So, like most other criminals, they make their escape.

Except, that they’re not like most other criminals. They may well have never committed a crime before. They may have diverted their attention for just a moment.

That’s hardly a criminal act, is it?

That’s what they tell themselves, and that’s why you wonder how they keep going with their lives.

“I sit around and wonder the same thing,” says Laguna Beach Police Capt. Paul Workman, who’s supervised the recent investigation. “What in the world do they think about? Personally, I can’t fathom it. It would be too emotionally upsetting.”

Workman says whoever drove that pickup is now being sought for felony hit-and-run and would certainly be tried as a criminal, as things now stand.

Guilt can be a powerful foe. Sometimes no matter how severe the consequences might be, guilt impels us to act.

And so you wonder how the days pass for whoever hit the woman.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com.