LAUGH LINES

With This Ring . . .: “O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend Christine Prody has reportedly said that O.J. proposed to her. So I guess she is going to be changing her name soon. Soon she’ll be the Late Christine Prody.” (Jay Leno)

Thinking Positive: “Troubled New York Yankees hitter Darryl Strawberry tested positive for cocaine. This is Strawberry’s third failed test. One more and he is out of baseball; two more and he’s in the NFL.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Treading the Line: “Sen. John McCain won [the Michigan and Arizona primaries] with help from his new campaign slogan, ‘Give Government Back to the People.’ George W. Bush has had less success with his new slogan, ‘Vote for Me or I’ll Tell My Dad.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

Food for Thought: “A kitchen employee of Queen Elizabeth has been fired for mentioning to a fellow worker how easy it would be to poison Her Royal Highness. If eating English food all these years hasn’t killed the queen, no poison is going to do it.” (Ira Lawson)

Fine Dining: “Former figure skater Tonya Harding was arrested and booked Tuesday in Camas, Wash. She threw a hubcap at her boyfriend. Or, as police called it, her best dinnerware.” (Jerry Perisho)

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