As a Comedian, Maybe Tinsley Should Tri Again

For all you closet triathletes who believe you could be the sport’s next superstar if you had the time to train, take heart.

Longtime triathlete Scott Tinsley, writing for the Asimba Web site, has some suggestions for day jobs that offer maximum training time.

“Trust-Funder: Train all day, race on the weekends, pick up your check every other Friday.

“Early Retiree: Take the pension at 50 and reduce your overhead. (Same as Trust-Funder only with less mileage.)

“Part-Time Student: Mooch off your parents as long as possible. Take one class to keep them guessing.

“Firefighter: Lots of time off. Kind of like working at a frat house if you get the right station.

“Navy SEAL: No need to work out on your days off. The whole job is a race of some type.

“Lottery Winner: Hardest part is deciding who your ‘real’ friends are.

“Pro Surfer: Well, duh!

“Novelist/Screenwriter: No need to really sell anything. You are always ‘dangerously close’ to hitting it big. Sleeping in your car makes you tough.

“Game Show Competitor.”

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Trivia time: The Baltimore Orioles have three players with at least 350 career home runs (Cal Ripken, 412, Harold Baines, 377, and Albert Belle, 364). Who was the last team to have a similar trio? Answer below.

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Hoop award: USC forward Brian Scalabrine is one of 12 players named to the Playboy magazine preseason All-America basketball team.

Scalabrine is the first Trojan named to the team since Harold Miner in 1992.

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Glacier pace: When New Jersey Devil Coach Larry Robinson started playing hockey in the 1970s, the season was over by the time June rolled around.

“We thought it was long when we were playing in May, so it’s definitely not the way most people would like it,” Robinson said. “I know that speaking to a lot of fans that I have talked to, they say they find it hard sometimes watching games when it is the middle of June.”

If the current Cup finals go the distance, Game 7 would be played June 12.

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Take a closer look: Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Terence Moore suggests that St. Louis slugger Mark McGwire has reached icon status in baseball that Michael Jordan enjoyed in basketball--and it may not be a good thing.

“America worships his swing that easily rips shots toward the nearest black hole, and baseball knows all of this,” Moore writes. “That’s why those who run the sport are treating McGwire as gingerly as a bowl of nitroglycerin on the top of their heads, and that’s the woeful part.

“I mean, whatever happened to that andro controversy? Maybe you’ve forgotten. If so, that joyful scream you hear is coming from the commissioner’s office.”

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Trivia answer: The 1974 Detroit Tigers, with Al Kaline (399), Frank Howard (382) and Norm Cash (377).

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And finally: Rick Reilly in Sports Illustrated on Laker center Shaquille O’Neal as a worthy role model.

“Thanks for being big time generous. You gave $1 million to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, which inspired Bill Gates to pony up enough for 30 new clubs, which sparked AOL chairman Steve Case to provide 30,000 computers and 30,000 Internet accounts for Boys and Girls Clubs around the country. And they say one person can’t make a difference.”