Rickey’s in His Own Orbit, but It Hasn’t Gone to His Head

It is Rickey Henderson’s world.

Then, there are the rest of us, vaguely orbiting the consciousness of Rickey.

His rules, not ours.

That’s OK, though. Too much Rickey gets Rickey in trouble. Rickey sucks the patience right out of people. It is torturous, too, because he is only the best leadoff hitter in the history of baseball.

Sometimes, however, Rickey is just too adorable.

Released by the New York Mets, Rickey was signed by the Seattle Mariners. During batting practice, he saw that one of his new teammates wore a batting helmet while in the field.

Rickey, being Rickey, walked right up to John Olerud.

“What’s with the helmet?” Rickey asked him.

“I wear it all the time.”

“I’ll be damned. I used to play with a guy in New York that did the same thing,” Rickey told him.

“That was me,” Olerud said.

Olerud and Henderson were teammates for all of the 1999 season with the Mets and part of the 1993 season with Toronto. Rickey, being Rickey, noted the helmet.

The guy beneath it was utterly lost on him.

Just one question: Conscientious as he is, Cincinnati third baseman Aaron Boone filled out most of a fan-submitted questionnaire this week, leaving only one query blank.

It read: What’s your scariest moment on a baseball field?

Boone mulled the question and decided he hadn’t had one.

Three days later, San Francisco right-hander Russ Ortiz beaned Boone, who crumpled to the dirt. When he brought his hands to his face, he touched blood.

He had suffered a hairline fracture of his nose.

Later, as the fog cleared and it was believed he wasn’t seriously injured, Boone was cheered by a duty no longer undone.

“It just dawned on me,” he said. “Now I can fill it in.”

Burn, guzzle, smack: Gerry Callahan of the Boston Herald on the Chicago Cubs’ decision to look into trades involving Sammy Sosa: “The Cubs have decided to go young and cheap. Hey, you don’t go 92 years without a World Series title for nothing.

“News flash: The Cubs are stupid. Trading Sammy Sosa is stupid. Other than getting drunk and stealing opposing players’ hats, he’s the only reason to go to Wrigley.”

Sure, get some sun, drink a beer, smack Chad Kreuter, wave at Sammy. It’s the place to be.

Power tools for pitchers: Why not just put a nail gun to your ear and pull the trigger?

The self-inflicted injuries are the ones we love.

This week’s iron-off-the-forehead winner is Philadelphia reliever Jason Boyd. You’d have thought a 6.05 ERA was pain enough. But no.

The right-handed Boyd pitched a sloppy two-thirds of an inning Wednesday night and, rightfully, the hand had to pay. When he got to the bench and angrily slammed down his glove, he also broke his fifth metacarpal.

Today, he is on the disabled list, probably wondering where to find the extension cord.

For the nail gun.

He went home: Pity Andy Morales, the third baseman who fled Cuba by boat, only to be picked up at sea by the U.S. Coast Guard and returned to his native island.

Morales achieved slight fame last year when he homered in Cuba’s 12-6 exhibition victory against Baltimore.

Sadly, this time, Morales hit only a comebacker.

Petco Park? Seattle Post-Intelligencer columnist Jim Caples had a message for all of the Pac Bells and Edisons and Cynergys and BankOnes out there.

Safeco might have paid the Mariners millions for stadium naming rights. But it paid nothing to the fans. So, they can call it whatever they want.

Caples: “If you like the sound of Safeco Field, fine, keep calling it that. But if not, there are plenty of other possibilities. Seattle Stadium. The House That Griffey Left. Rainier Field. Pioneer Diamond. Edgar Park. Or given the stadium’s financial problems, Debits Field.”

Jane who? The Atlanta Braves, already soaking in the warmth of nightly standing ovations for the new and improved John Rocker, are ever aggressive in promoting their product.

Why, just this month, they unveiled an Internet sweepstakes in which the winner is awarded tickets to owner Ted Turner’s seats. The contest is called, “Sit in Ted’s Box.”

You know, what rich, lonely guys won’t do to get a date.

Is that Enron or Elroy? The Houston Astros are so awful the Jetsons are thinking of renaming their dog.

The sensitive canine can no longer be subjected to this kind of ridicule around the water dish.

This was a ballclub that many expected to contend in the National League Central, and instead is in last place and will have to do one heck of a sales job to keep Jeff Bagwell around after next season. There are rumors that Manager Larry Dierker’s job is in jeopardy, which can’t please the Astros’ color commentator.

Then, in case not enough people were paying attention, catcher Mitch Meluskey and outfielder Matt Mieske fought over whose turn it was in the batting cage. Meluskey hit Mieske in the face, amounting to the first solid contact an Astro had made in a week.

Noted Denver Post columnist John Henderson: “The Kingdome didn’t collapse this fast.”