Now Seattle Gets to Have All the Fun

Art Thiel in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer on the Mariners acquiring controversial Ricky Henderson:

“It’s not often a newly acquired player helps two sports teams in town. But think about it: Now that the Mariners have acquired Henderson, the Sonics’ Gary Payton is no longer Seattle sports’ only wild hair.

“Payton now can hurl all the TV remote controls at all the teammates he wants. Few fans will notice.”

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More Henderson: “He’s a media magnet, saving many a postgame clubhouse when there wasn’t much to be said about a particular contest.

“Nobody in sports is better at saying nothing in an amusing fashion than Henderson.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the record for most points in a NBA playoff game?

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Serious condition: Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune writing before Sunday’s Miami-New York game and wondering about Pat Riley’s mental stability if the Knicks were to eliminate the Heat from the playoffs again--which they did:

“I get the idea if Riley doesn’t get something lasting out of this Miami Heat team this year, he’ll end up cutting words out of magazines and sending himself ransom notes.”

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Nasty, nasty: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “The danger in sentencing Tonya Harding to highway cleanup is that she could be mistaken for trash.”

And, “Fitting that the dog-chow team known as the Chicago Blackhawks will hire a new coach named Alpo Suhenon.”

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Strong opinion: Art Spander in the Oakland Tribune on the Hack-a-Shaq tactic employed Saturday by the Portland Trail Blazers:

“They’re killing pro basketball, one free throw at a time. They’re substituting stupidity for strategy, arrogance for elegance turning what used to be Show Time into slow time and maybe worst of all going against the very spirit of the game.

“Someone ought to come up with the idea of Frequent Fouler Awards, say a trip to Antarctica.”

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Try again: From the Gallery column of the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Believe it or not, schools are already launching campaigns for the Heisman Trophy, college football’s biggest prize.

“Ole Miss is pushing its senior halfback, Deuce McAllister, with this slogan: ‘The Deuce is loose!’ ”

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Trivia answer: Michael Jordan of Chicago, 63, against Boston on April 20, 1986, two overtimes.

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And finally: John Crumpacker of the San Francisco Examiner with some suggestions on how to revive interest in track and field:

“Why does there have to be water in the steeplechase pit? Why not lime Jell-O? What a sight it would be watching runners plunge knee-deep in Jell-O every lap.

“Or if it has to be water, why not colored water? Lively up yourself.”