If You Want Peace and Quiet, Try a Twins’ Game

More than 64,000 fans at the Minnesota Vikings’ game Monday night set a Metrodome record by roaring to 130 decibels.

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health reports that is about as loud as stock cars, jackhammers and hydraulic presses.

A normal conversation measures 60 decibels, with a 120 for a rock concert. Exposure to 140 decibels can cause permanent ear damage.

Better to have watched that game on television. You could turn the sound down.

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Trivia time: Which former NFL quarterback holds the record for being sacked the most times?

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Off base: Dallas Star winger Brett Hull, on the Marty McSorley assault conviction: “I think it’s asinine. Are we going to have cops on the bench recording every hit and slash? It wasn’t worth the [agony] Marty and his family went through.”

Hey, Brett, what about the agony suffered by Donald Brashear of Vancouver when McSorley hit him on the head with his stick, knocking him unconscious?

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Live with it: Bob Davie in the South Bend Tribune, on the pressure of coaching football at Notre Dame: “There are a lot of places that have little press conferences on Monday and do that whole thing in the cafeteria and there’s three or four guys there.

“There’s not any place that has a luncheon every Friday with 3,500 people and has a pep rally every Friday with 12,000 people.

“There’s a little adjustment that goes on for anybody, not just because you haven’t been a head coach, you haven’t been a head coach at Notre Dame.”

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Different jobs: Comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “The L.A. Dodgers signed former base-stealing champion Maury Wills as their new base running and bunting coordinator.

“You know, the Yankees have a ‘bunting coordinator’ too. He’s the guy who hangs all the red, white and blue banners around Yankee Stadium every year for their postseason games.”

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Shooting frenzy: Sam Smith in the Chicago Tribune: “[Latrell] Sprewell said the Knicks with himself, Allan Houston and Glen Rice could be unstoppable. He also acknowledged that they ‘could be crushed on the boards and have a bunch of other problems.’

“Feared over much of the last decade for their toughness and rugged play, the Knicks appear to have little identity anymore, other than a team with a bunch of guys who want to shoot and cannot defend much.”

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Accommodating: Syndicated columnist Norman Chad suggests the San Diego Chargers are 0-6 because Coach Mike Riley “is so nice that when he benches a player he wipes off the seat first.”

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Winning situation: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “I don’t know about you, but I’m rooting for a Yankees-Mets World Series. That way one of them has to lose.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1963, Mickey Wright won her fourth LPGA championship in six years by beating Mary Lena Faulk, Mary Mills and Louise Suggs by two strokes.

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Trivia answer: John Elway of the Denver Broncos, 516, from 1983 to 1998.

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And finally: Bob Golic, a former NFL player and now a commentator on Fox’s “NFL This Morning,” after seeing Sebastian Janikowski miss a field goal in overtime against the 49ers:

“I’m thinking the Raiders are filling out those deportation papers.”