PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Wounded and in full retreat, the ink-stained minions have sunk to a new low. They’ve sent a woman to do a Swami’s job. Two of them, actually. Challenger/victim Paige Leech is eating for two these days, which is never a surprise if you’ve seen her in action at a buffet table. The bun in Paige’s ever-expanding oven is a little sister for 2-year-old A.J., who needed only her chubby digits on one hand to count the number of football picks (five) last week’s challenger, Tim Trepany, got right. Meanwhile, your soothsaying Swami pulled his turban out of his pajama pants to go 12 for 15 and recover from a disastrous opening week. Bring it on, girls!

The Prophet

Season totals for the Prophet: 19 of 30 (63%), 23 points

Paige A. Leech

Season totals for the guests: 17 of 30 (57%), 23 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Hart at Westlake

THE PROPHET SAYS: Although I question the toughness of Hart QB Kyle Matter--if he couldn’t take the heat at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, how is he going to handle the Westlake rush?--I like the Indians because of a rock-solid defense and because I can’t pronounce the surname of Westlake QB Todd Feiereisen. Hart, 22-14.

LEECH SAYS: With Hart RB Tim Gregory nursing an ACL tear and Westlake QB Todd Feiereisen coming off an admirable performance in relief against powerhouse Clovis West, it’s as clear as the results of an amniocentesis: the Warriors will end Hart’s 25-game winning streak and send the Swami into the fetal position, crying like a newborn. Westlake, 24-20.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Ventura at Royal

THE PROPHET SAYS: Ventura RB Tyler Ebell, who has a tattoo of Mighty Mouse on his arm, will tattoo Royal’s defense for a few hundred yards and a couple of touchdowns. Ventura, 34-17.

LEECH SAYS: Ventura RB Tyler Ebell, averaging 18.6 yards a carry, won’t do that against Royal. But he will run for 200 yards in the Cougars’ closest game to date. Ventura, 21-14.

*

Newbury Park vs. Buena at Ventura High

THE PROPHET SAYS: Buena let me down by losing (badly) to Westlake in its opener. Call me a fool, but I still believe in the Bulldogs. Buena, 27-21.

LEECH SAYS: Buena’s defense finally showed up last week. But it was against Rio Mesa, so it doesn’t count for much. Newbury Park, 21-20.

*

Notre Dame vs. Saugus at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: If you see a diminutive man dancing like a leprechaun on the Notre Dame sideline, don’t be alarmed. It’s only Eric Sondheimer cheering on his favorite school. Notre Dame, 35-20.

LEECH SAYS: I’m a big David Parker fan. But the former Saugus quarterback has moved on to College of the Canyons. Notre Dame has a solid running game, an outstanding defense and . . . I don’t want to disappoint Sondheimer. Notre Dame, 26-6.

THE REST (1 point each)

* Taft at Jefferson: The Prophet: Taft appears in midseason form: The passing game is clicking, RB Lee Marks is rumbling and Coach Troy Starr has been suspended. Taft, 30-24. Leech: Taft, 42-35.

* Birmingham at Reseda: The Prophet: Birmingham is 2-0, but does anyone really think Reseda Coach Joel Schaeffer will lose two in a row? That hasn’t happened since . . . last season. Reseda, 38-14. Leech: Birmingham, 38-35.

* Granada Hills at South Gate: The Prophet: Winning combo: Granada Hills has not allowed a point in two games and all five of WR Joey Rodriguez’s catches have been for touchdowns. Granada Hills, 27-14. Leech: Granada Hills, 21-0.

* Camarillo at Thousand Oaks: The Prophet: Thousand Oaks could be the best 0-2 team in the region after competitive games with Crescenta Valley and Hart. The Lancers break into the win column this week. Thousand Oaks, 26-20. Leech: Camarillo, 27-21.

* Serrano at Lancaster: The Prophet: RB Tony Ortiz showed why he was the 1999 Golden League back of the year by rushing for 164 yards last week and helping Lancaster improve to 2-0. Lancaster, 19-14. Leech: Serrano, 28-14.

* Alemany at Chaminade: The Prophet: The winner of this game can call itself the second-best Catholic school in the Valley, behind Notre Dame. And that would be the team with RB De’Andre Scott. Alemany, 28-17. Leech: Alemany, 35-10.

* Oxnard vs. Valencia at Canyon High: The Prophet: Give Valencia Coach Brian Stiman high marks for honesty for admitting his team tanked in the second half of a come-from-ahead loss to Peninsula. Give him a D for getting his players in shape. Valencia, 26-14. Leech: Valencia, 30-8.

* Burroughs at La Canada: The Prophet: La Canada, which ran roughshod over Burbank and Glendale, continues its rampage through the Valley’s most football-depressed area. La Canada, 31-14. Leech: La Canada, 26-13.

* Littlerock at Barstow: The Prophet: Littlerock, off to a somewhat surprising 2-0 start, gets knocked back to earth. Barstow, 17-12. Leech: Littlerock, 21-14.

* Rio Mesa at Agoura: The Prophet: Agoura QB Chris Denove gets back on track after absorbing a pummeling at the hands of Camarillo. Agoura, 24-17. Leech: Agoura, 35-7.

* Channel Islands at Moorpark: The Prophet: These teams combined to score only 19 points and allowed 80 points in losses last week. Call this the Redemption Bowl. Moorpark, 12-9. Leech: Moorpark, 17-10.