LAUGH LINES

Quick One: The word “ ‘rats’ appeared for a brief time--only about a 30th of a second--[on George W. Bush’s] ads. . . . Or about as long as Bush’s attention span.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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Chris Pina’s

Essential Daily List

Top Rejected

Oprah Questions

for George W. Bush

* “Besides big oil, who’s the biggest influence in your life?”

* “What’s your favorite word to mispronounce?”

* “Are you ready for a very surprise make-over?”

* “What’s your highest score in Tetris?”

* “Have you read my magazine lately? Have you read anything lately?”

* “Quick! Who’s the president of ABC?”

* “Is it true that you once called Chris Pina a major league a------?”

* “Do you prefer morning or evening executions?”

* “[What’s your] favorite special interest?”

* “Can you explain your tax cut in a manner where you can understand it?”

* You were joking about that compassionate conservative thing--weren’t you?”

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.