Just What NFL Needs: a W.C. on Its Fields

“Inside the NFL” recently examined the problem that confronts players who need to use the bathroom during a game.

Said Jeff Garcia, the 49ers’ quarterback: “I have even brought it up to teammates that there should be a Porta Potti on the sidelines.”

Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle has a suggestion: “Instead of calling it ‘Here’s Johnny,’ they should call it ‘Here’s Jack’ after Jack Reynolds, the former 49er [and Ram] linebacker who had several teammates huddle around him so he could relieve himself on the sideline during Super Bowl XVI.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Pacific 10 Conference record for touchdown passes in a regular season?

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Mocking Moss: Dan LeBatard of the Miami Herald, on Randy Moss, the Minnesota Vikings’ enigmatic receiver:

“He is teetering between being a caricature and a cartoon, so impossibly bloated with self-importance and entitlement [that] the Vikings are going to have to make a larger, more flexible helmet to fit a head that seems to inflate by the play....

“Moss shouldn’t wear a mouthpiece. The equipment manager should give him a pacifier.”

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Better idea: Thomas Boswell in the Washington Post: “Instead of spending $150 million of their money to buy out the Expos, then ‘contract’ them out of existence, baseball owners should auction the Montreal franchise to the highest Washington bidder. Do it this winter.

“RFK Stadium can be ready for baseball in four to six weeks. New ballpark to follow.”

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Conceding: Chuck Culpepper in the Portland Oregonian:

* “Los Angeles Lakers. If they don’t shape up, they’re going to have to win the finals in six games, rather than five.”

* “Seattle SuperSonics. They carry the bizarre distinction of pining away for a two-team league with the Lakers, so they could rule.”

* “Extinct bowl games. There are 27; let’s wallow in nostalgia. Oh, that Bacardi Bowl, 1937, Auburn-Villanova, 7-7 tie, at Havana? Nonfiction.

“Please bring it back. For so many reasons.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1967, Wilt Chamberlain, playing for the Philadelphia 76ers, made 30 field goals against Chicago, equaling the third-highest total in NBA history.

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Looking back again: On this day in 1999, Kobe Bryant scored 30 points, grabbed seven rebounds and made 10 of 11 free-throw attempts to lead the Lakers to a 95-88 victory over the Hawks in Atlanta.

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Trivia answer: Ryan Leaf of Washington State, 33, in 1997.

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And finally: Skip Bayless in the San Jose Mercury News: “For the [Oakland] A’s, Barry Bonds would be a much better buy than [Jason] Giambi.

“While Bonds employs a nutritionist, stretching coach and personal trainer, Giambi often brought burgers and fries to the clubhouse. While Bonds remains remarkably injury-free, Giambi was plagued by a bum shoulder in 2000 and sore hamstrings all of last season.

“While family man Bonds finished last season looking 37 going on 30, born-to-be-wild Giambi was more a pudgy 30 going on 37.”