LAUGH LINES

Kickoff Time: “The Super Bowl--you know where they’re playing it? . . . In Florida. Florida. . . . Do we want another major contest decided in Florida?” (David Letterman)

A Bit Nostalgic: “George W. Bush visited his boyhood home of Midland, Texas. Very inspirational trip. Bush said it was an extremely emotional trip--going back to the first place he flunked math.” (Conan O’Brien)

Splitsville: “Some sad news--Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin are getting a divorce. That’s too bad. You’ve got Kim and Alec, Bruce [Willis] and Demi [Moore], Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid. Who would have believed the most stable monogamous relationship would be Madonna’s?” (Jay Leno)

Vicious Game: “ ‘The Mole’ is a TV version of the murder mystery party game. Ten contestants are flown around the world to beautiful locales while one of them attempts to sabotage the others. But enough about the Senate confirmation hearings.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

A New Motto: “The New York Tourist Bureau has finally unveiled its new slogan, replacing ‘I Love New York’ with the phrase ‘Paint the Town Red.’ . . . A more realistic slogan would be ‘Outline the Body in White.’ ” (Alex Kaseberg)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.