Not Even Jordan Can Look Good as a Wizard

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, commenting on Michael Jordan returning to play for the Washington Wizards: “The first thing it means is that the Wizards need to get new uniforms. Their uniforms are hideous. They look like pajamas.

“Which may account for why the team has sleepwalked through the last few seasons....

“It’s [also] hard to imagine him in anything but that red Bulls’ uniform. Seeing him in Wizards’ blue will seem almost sacrilege.”

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More on Jordan: Greg Cote in the Miami Herald: “I would not call Jordan’s Comeback II ill-advised; that would presume he listened to any advice. The enormous ego his excellence has earned convinces him that, since he has conquered everything else as champion supreme, he can now reign over the one opponent no man has yet beaten.

“Time.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the UCLA record for touchdown passes in a season?

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Cheating would help: Norman Chad, in his column on America Online, explains why Rutgers has been outscored, 111-0, in its past two games: “There have been a lot of offensive and defensive breakdowns that, frankly, can be corrected during practice. I also feel the Scarlet Knights simply need to make a few, minor adjustments.

“It wouldn’t hurt, for instance, to try and put 12 or 13 men on the field once in a while. Referees can’t catch every infraction.”

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Bon appetit: Hubert Mizell in the St. Petersburg Times: “Jock superstitions can be zany,like Packer safety LeRoy Butler eating toasted cheese sandwiches the night before games [Wisconsin cheddar, we assume].... Raven defensive tackle Tony Siragusa takes no chances; he eats everything on the menu.

“Further, the 350-pound Goose has put away 125 White Castle hamburgers at one sitting.”

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Look out below! Houston Astro outfielder Lance Berkman won’t soon forget Sammy Sosa’s three-homer game Sunday in Houston: “I turned around to make sure they didn’t bounce back and hit me on the head,” he told the Houston Chronicle.

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Troubled: Speaking of Albert Belle’s days with the Cleveland Indians, General Manager John Hart told the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “I loved him from 7 to 10 p.m., but he could take joy out of a franchise. He was a fine player, but he never enjoyed his great fortune. It still bothers me to think a man so gifted could be so miserable.”

Looking back: On this day in 1935, the Chicago Cubs clinched the National League pennant with a 6-2 victory over St. Louis--their 20th consecutive win in a streak that would end at 21.

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Trivia answer: Cade McNown, 25 in 1998.

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And finally: Sam Clancy, father of USC basketball standout Sam Clancy Jr., is the defensive line coach of the New Orleans Saints. The senior Clancy was a defensive lineman for three NFL teams in the 1980s. Like his son, he was also a formidable basketball rebounder, playing for the University of Pittsburgh.

In an interview with Ron Cook of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Clancy said of his son: “If he’s lucky, he’ll make more money in one contract than I’ve made in my whole life.”