Collectively, They Seem to Have Lost Their Minds

One would think the first requirement of memorabilia is that it be memorable.

But one would be wrong.

“A California company called Sports Artifacts,” writes Jeff Miller in the Miami Herald, “is advertising a bat once used by Dann Bilardello. For $35, you can secure a piece of this catcher’s legendary career. We wouldn’t suggest using the bat, though, since it obviously doesn’t work. In eight seasons, Bilardello hit .204.

“There is also a bronze sculpture of ex-big-league [pitcher] Matt Young, who was [40] games under .500 for his career.... As silly as this might sound, how about the asking price of $9,800? So why Matt Young? The artist is his cousin.”

Trivia time: With 13 NBA titles, the Lakers are second to the Boston Celtics (16). Who is next in line?

Sticky item: Curt Mueller, a Wisconsin gum maker, paid $10,000 at a charity auction for a piece of bubble gum chewed by Arizona Diamondback outfielder Luis Gonzalez.

Sickly item: Mike Tyson has been castigated, and rightly so, for biting off a chunk of Evander Holyfield’s right ear in their 1997 heavyweight title match.

But as low as Tyson sunk that night, he was not alone.

The chunk of Holyfield’s ear was recovered and frozen on ice in order to be surgically reattached. But somewhere between the ring and the hospital, the ear piece disappeared, apparently stolen by a memorabilia hunter.

Grand item: Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky once purchased a trip to a fire station for his kids at a charity auction for $1,000.

Gretzky wrote out a check and sent it up to the auctioneer.

“And the next item to be auctioned off,” said the auctioneer, “is

More to it than meets the eye: ESPN “SportsCenter” anchor Stuart Scott was injured while doing a story on the rigors of trying out for the New York Jets. During a workout, he was struck in the eye by a football propelled from a mechanical device.

“He had the eye looked at and they feel that things will get back to normal,” network spokesman Chris LaPlaca told the Houston Chronicle.

Follow up: Chris Cain, golf pro at Penn State, set a Guinness World Record on Wednesday by playing 505 holes in 12 hours on Penn State’s White Course. The previous mark had been 476 holes in 12 hours.

Targeting those terrible Tigers: With the announcement that Kmart is ending its sponsorship of Detroit teams, including the struggling Detroit Tigers, comedian Jay Leno said, “Oh man, how embarrassing is that? Kmart thinks you’re a loser.”

Looking back: On this day in 1897, John J. McDermott won the first Boston Marathon in 2 hours 55 minutes 10 seconds. On Sunday, Khalid Khannouchi set a world record at the London Marathon with a time of 2:05:38.

Trivia answer: The Chicago Bulls with six.

And finally: “Did you hear about the banner on the side of Ford Field?” writes Terry Foster in the Detroit News. “It reads: ‘Go Lions.’ Underneath, it says: ‘And take the Tigers with you.’”