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There’s Something Germane to His Idea

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Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post says he is caught up with soccer fever: “We play 83-time winner Germany on Friday. Not to put too fine a point on it, but many Germans rank soccer behind only ‘full scale war’ as the favorite sport of the country.

“(Hey, how about France, huh? Talk about gagging on the fromage! Three games, no goals. Au revoir, Pierre. Isn’t it just like the French to go out early and leave it up to us to beat the Germans?)”

Trivia time: What do the following have in common? Tom Fears, Manual Arts High; Don Clark, Washington High; Al Hoisch and Mike Marienthal, L.A. High, and Bill Slayton, Garfield High.

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Our humble role: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News: “The thing about soccer is, we don’t actually have to win. We are so insignificant that we only have to look like we might win. This is ideal, wearing the same clothes as the groom but being an usher.

“I mean, when was the last time anybody got excited about being a quarterfinalist? We are the Miss Congeniality of soccer. We hold the coats of the real soccer nations.”

Minor interest: Shaun Powell in Newsday: “Within America, soccer is the minority of the sports world, and regardless of the buzz from our boys stationed in South Korea, that ain’t going to change. Ever.

“Five minutes after the U.S. men’s team is eliminated, soccer goes back to the kids and suburban moms.”

The stopper: Jack Buck, the raspy-voiced broadcaster who died Tuesday at the age of 77, had a marvelous sense of humor. His former CBS baseball partner, Tim McCarver, told the San Francisco Chronicle they were on a cross-country flight in 1990 when McCarver was trapped next to a man who talked incessantly.

Buck later told him. “You know how to stop that? Just turn to the guy and say, ‘Have you been saved?’ I’ll guarantee he’ll never say another word to you.”

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More Buck: He was broadcasting a game in the late 1970s when the San Diego Padres had Butch Metzger, Dave Freisleben and Dave Wehrmeister. His line: “They got their pitching staff when a U-Boat surfaced off San Diego.”

FYI: Bloomberg News reports that Tiger Woods is 8-5 to complete the first calendar-year sweep of golf’s four majors.

Stardust Race and Sports Book in Las Vegas lists Woods as the 1-2 favorite to win the British Open or PGA Championship this year. Odds that he won’t win either event are 4-1.

Looking back: On this day in 1970, Detroit’s Cesar Gutierrez performed a 20th-century first when he collected seven hits in a 12-inning, 9-8 victory over Cleveland.

Trivia answer: All were first-team members of the 1940 Los Angeles All-City football team. Slayton, the only one who didn’t play college football, became a trainer for heavyweight champions Ken Norton and Michael Dokes.

And finally: Dustin Pillard has 50 tiny cows on his northern Iowa farm, all about 3 feet tall. He’s hoping they’ll catch on as pets and as rodeo novelty acts.

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The smallest fully grown animal is a 3-year-old bull that is 33 inches tall and weighs 320 pounds. The largest, a mature bull, is 35 inches tall and 400 pounds.

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