Woods’ Tastes Are Apparently Maturing

GolfWeek magazine reports that some past Masters champions had grumbled about Tiger Woods’ menu choices--cheeseburgers and milk shakes--at the first Champions’ Dinner he hosted in 1998.

“Woods, admitting his culinary tastes have ‘advanced’ since then [when he was only 22], said the entrees for this year’s dinner would be steak and chicken.”

Steak and chicken--how boring. Cheeseburgers and milk shakes--now that’s a real treat.

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Trivia time: Other than UCLA, which Pacific 10 Conference men’s team has won the most games in the NCAA basketball tournament?

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Are you ready for him? Skip Bayless of the San Jose Mercury News on John Madden becoming an analyst for “Monday Night Football” on ABC: “Finally, the longest-running [sports] show on television has an analyst/entertainer who can measure up to its stage.

“Boom! John Madden will come through your screen the way he once smashed through a wall in the beer commercial that transformed him from a chain-smoking, Maalox-popping John Candy of an ex-Raiders’ coach into a TV star.”

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Counterpoint: Phil Mushnick in the New York Post:

“ABC now embraces Madden at a time when its ‘MNF’ showcase has become a study in desperate experiments, the latest being Dennis Miller.

“Madden arrives at a time when his ‘boom!’ and ‘bang!’ bit has worn thin, at a time when he’s increasingly perceived as an overly commercialized caricature who will endorse anything.”

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More MNF: Keith Olbermann of ABC radio on Madden joining Al Michaels:

“Even with just the two of them that could still be a pretty crowded booth.”

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He said what? Miami Heat forward Brian Grant, when asked by the Miami Herald to assess his team’s playoff chances: “Once we’re able to creep up those old steps, and go through grandma’s door, we’re in the kitchen, then we can make the dinner. But now we’re still ... gathering wood.”

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Turnabout: Agent Bob LaMonte, who represents Jon Gruden, recently hired by the Glazer family as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ head coach: “I didn’t know Joel and Bryan [Glazer], but I knew what I read about them--’Dumb and Dumber.’ I hung up the phone thinking, ‘Smart and Smarter.’”

Good old sport: Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel: “What do you get when you cross a NASCAR race with a Winter Olympics event?

“Answer: Billybobsledding.”

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Just some guy: Olympic gold medal figure skater Sarah Hughes, 16, after being asked who had phoned her with congratulations: “I think it was a senator or something.”

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Trivia answer: Arizona, which has a 32-19 record in the NCAA tournament. UCLA is 83-30, USC 9-13.

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And finally: Greg Cote in the Miami Herald: “Sergio Garcia remains most notable in golf for his pre-swing ritual.

“He is 22, but will be 23 by the time he strikes the ball, after the most laborious pre-shot address in history.

“The Gettysburg Address was shorter.”

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Mal Florence