Baseball Could Use This Type of Hitting

Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald writes that baseball is an antiquated sport compared to football: “Baseball ruled this land once, but now our national pastime feels past its time in more ways than one, especially when juxtaposed with the spectacular testosterone bursts football weekends provide....

“Football, big and loud and violent, fits the America that surrounds it. It is by far the most television-friendly of our sports, and it requires very little attention span from the generation raised on MTV, video games and the Internet.

“Helps, too, that you get spectacular and choreographed violence when your attention does happen to be engaged.”

Trivia time: Who was the first UCLA player to be included in the top 10 in Heisman Trophy voting?

Stubborn: Rick Morrissey in the Chicago Tribune: “They can burn their bras and brassies all they want but Augusta National’s Chairman [Hootie Johnson] isn’t going to let the fairer sex in as members. No sir....

“Augusta will carry on as first conceived [interesting word], and men will continue to belch the alphabet and water the trees without worrying about offending women’s sensibilities.”

Traveling winner: Tim Tucker of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution writes that the Oakland Athletics’ winning streak is a feat of staggering proportions.

“But one thing about the amazing A’s is not the least bit surprising: David Justice is on the team. That figures, given his penchant for turning up on winners. If the A’s win the AL West this season, Justice will have been on 11 consecutive division championship teams.”

Whatever you say: Philadelphia Eagle receiver Freddie Mitchell, on his team’s future: “You can’t control the storm, you’ve just got to adjust the sails.”

Game plan: From comedy writer Earl Hochman: “Penn State football Coach Joe Paterno, 75, says his goal is to coach until he’s 80, then celebrate by sailing on his second ocean cruise, his first being aboard the Constitution.”

Confusing: Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News on the NFL: “The new nearly correct geographical alignment that kept Dallas in the East, St. Louis in the West and put Indianapolis in the South is another result of males refusing to ask directions.”

Do they buy it? Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot: “I don’t trust the accuracy of those radar guns used to clock tennis serves and fastballs. I’m convinced they register a little high. This is the same argument I use on state troopers.”

Looking back: On this day in 1987, UCLA routed San Diego State, 47-14. Five years later, on the same day, USC played to a 31-31 tie with the Aztecs.

Trivia answer: Tailback Kenny Washington, who was sixth in the voting in 1939.

And finally: Abe Lemons, former college basketball coach who died Monday at 79, had a one-liner for every occasion.

For instance, on disgruntled alumni at Oklahoma City University:

“They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for $20, so they let me stay.”