With Wells, Yankees Are in Teeth of the Storm

Jon Heyman in Newsday: “David Wells should consider himself fortunate that he still has 30 of his 32 teeth, and what’s left of his faculties. He also should consider his diner-dust up a wake-up call to change his ways. But of course, he won’t.

“Wells is the pitcher who never sleeps. Or thinks, even.

“This is where the Yankees need to step in. Wells’ duke-out at dawn should be a warning that he needs more than a stern talking-to. He needs sleeping pills, an in-home entertainment center, a baby-sitter, something to get him back to his crib and asleep at a reasonable hour.”

Trivia time: Which school holds the NCAA Division I-A record for consecutive non-losing football seasons?

Let’s wait awhile: Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune wasn’t impressed with Notre Dame’s 24-17 victory over unranked Purdue.

“Whatever Notre Dame (2-0) is running, this isn’t the West Coast offense of Joe Montana or Steve Young. There were four-receiver sets Saturday, but they were like a turret on a lean-to. They had no real purpose.

“Has the glory returned to Notre Dame? I don’t know. But the belief system, the one based on results and not ancient history, seems to be sneaking back.

“This belief system, however, does recommend the use of rosary beads.”

More Irish: Paul Hornung, a former Heisman Trophy winner and a regular at Irish games: “You can call it an air of confidence or good feeling, but something is happening at Notre Dame. It’s because of [Coach Tyrone] Willingham.”

Shaky winner: Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News, commenting on Denver quarterback Brian Griese’s uneven performance in the Broncos’ 23-16 victory over St. Louis on Sunday in Denver: “He went from one step away from Dead Man Sulking to Prince of the City.

“Griese was booed when the Broncos were ahead, not exactly the sort of encouragement expected in the first game of the season, especially from as great a collection of optimists as ever enjoyed the comforts of seatbacks and cup holders.

“When the home crowd winces at every snap, this is not toleration, it is dread.”

Big shrimp now: Chad Morton, the 5-foot-8 former USC tailback, who began his NFL career with the New Orleans Saints, emerged from relative obscurity with two kickoff returns for touchdowns in the New York Jets’ overtime victory over the Buffalo Bills on Sunday.

Wrote Shaun Powell in Newsday: “He was lost in New Orleans, a lone shrimp in a bowl of gumbo.”

Looking back: On this day in 1983, USC opened the football season with a 19-19 tie with Florida at the Coliseum.

Trivia answer: Penn State, 49, from 1939 to 1987.

And finally: Ira Miller in the San Francisco Chronicle, comparing new Oakland Raider Coach Bill Callahan to former coach Jon Gruden: “[Gruden] often would greet the media after a Raiders’ game with his face red, his voice raspy, the emotion still welling in him long after the game ended.

“[Callahan] got his first chance of doing that on Sunday, and, watching and listening to him, you might have thought he just walked inside after washing the car.”