But You Get a Nifty Hat

McDonald’s, the global purveyor of McNuggets, McGriddles, McValue French Fries and McVeggie Burgers, objects now to inclusion in a new Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary of the word “McJob,” defined as low-paying and dead-end work.

Fighting over words, which emerge within living languages to assume added or new values, reveals how little is left to fight about in a comfortable, affluent society like America. It does show a promotional understanding of the media’s penchant to define conflict, any conflict, as news. But it’s also a royal McWaste of time.

With its California roots, McDonald’s has been colossally successful creating, shaping and selling fast food around the world. Fifty years ago, only Howard Johnson’s hot dogs were the same across the country. Then came McDonald’s standard burger, and there went a zillion local burger joints. In a sense, Wal-Mart is now doing to local merchandisers what McDonald’s did to mom-and-pop drive-ins. Today, more earthlings recognize Ronald McDonald than that Santa Claus fellow.

McDonald’s is correct: Many decent, industrious young and older people worked and work in its restaurants, earning money and learning responsibility and the value of hard work in a paper hat. McDonald’s claims to train more young people than the armed forces. Swell, as long as they remain unarmed. Some rose from the griddle to the frying pan of management in an era of intensifying competition and consumer health concerns.

Frankly, other McWorkers could take an order for a plain cheeseburger and serve it with a double dose of every conceivable condiment, one reason Burger King, Wendy’s and other chains survive. So the chewing public is excused for not immediately spotting or caring about future corporate chieftains behind the McCounter.

Webster’s editors, some of whom may even be addicted to McDonald’s fries, say they carefully research common usages before putting in new words. Words, like successful species, evolve over time. Think “gay,” “coke” and “joint.”

Maybe, someday, McJob will mean “destined for the executive suite.” Right now, the holder of a McJob, like the soda jerk of a previous era, resides in the public mind as a menial laborer. No disrespect. McLive with it. And this time hold the ketchup.